Hank Stuever does his homework. As a Washington Post reporter, we expect no less, but still, this is a writer who paid close attention to those teachers who exhorted him to “show his work.”

The smallest of details can’t escape his eye, from the type of light bulbs used in a massive Yule yard display to the names and directions for multiple subdivisions in the town of Frisco, the fast-growing exurban city outside Dallas that he selects as the setting of his engrossing search for the modern meaning of Christmas.
Yet his self-confessed obsessive note-taking never prevents Stuever from getting the big picture, and his spot-on observations about how modern America celebrates the holiday — in all its retail madness — are satisfying and illuminating.

For instance, he pinpoints that collective societal guilt (that you thought only you suffered) that hits home when we hear from economists that all our Christmas spending is somehow insufficient, that consumers have fallen short of some nebulous retail goal set months before.

“Hundreds of billions of dollars and still a bummer, like having a person on our Christmas list we can never fully please, who acts out a key scene in any family’s holiday dysfunction drama.

“Economy: You never get me what I want.

“Consumer: What? I buy you everything you ask for! Every year!

“Economy: I still feel empty.”

It’s these sly perceptions that set Tinsel above the ordinary, as Stuever insinuates himself into the lives of three Frisco families and follows them through the 2006 Christmas season. (The book’s conclusion provides updates from the subsequent two holiday seasons, providing nice closure to many of the stories.)

We stand in line at Best Buy on Black Friday with Caroll Cavazos, peer over the shoulders of Jeff and Bridgette Trykoski, the young couple who use roughly 50,000 lights to turn their ordinary home into the most famous light display in the county, and accompany Tammie Parnell to crafts fairs to find deals on garlands, Santas, candles, angels, ornaments and more to stock her side business of decorating people’s homes for Christmas.
Along the way, we are treated to Stuever’s incisive yet tender comments on the chaotic holiday that has morphed into Christmas.

As Caroll waits in line, “she wonders if maybe this is how memories are made now. Maybe the shopping is the memory itself. … While it may look absurd on the news, Black Friday also can be seen as a shopaholic’s annual Woodstock, or the American version of the running of the bulls at Pamplona. Is Black Friday really any more ridiculous?”

Stuever’s talent for drawing apt parallels draws the reader along, and he has a knack for keeping you engaged. His gift for ending chapters and segments with startling visual images, pithy summations, a fabulous quote or his thought of the moment creates a glide effect that makes the book difficult to put down.

And why should you? It’s the holiday season, after all.

So Florence brought Bernie and Sue came with Nouf and everyone chatted away — OK, maybe Bernie was left out a little bit, but he didn’t seem to mind. He whispered to Florence halfway through that he felt Love is Love was “a woman’s show,” and we had to agree.
With 23 separate skits and five songstresses, it was definitely female-centric. Personal favorites were Patti Eyler’s sweetly emotional rendition of e-mailing her husband on their 12th anniversary, Shelly Burch addressing the frustrating (but eventually rewarding) process of online dating and Avery wryly taking to task the annoying 6-year-old she’s forced into contact with on a long flight.
Linda, who divorced several years ago, especially identified with We Would Have Been Fine, a piece about unexpectedly seeing your ex out in public.
“I haven’t seen my ex since our court date, and I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to run into him,” she said. “Would it be a setback, or would I feel, ‘OK, I’m fine now’?”
She also marveled at how tiny Andrea McArdle is: “She must be a size 0,” she said.
Florence laughed the most at the song called Sundays about sports widows. “That’s me,” she proclaimed, while Bernie shook his head and admitted that he gets many complaints about his sports addiction.
“I’m constantly watching TV sports,” he said. “Anything with a ball. I don’t care what it is.”
Florence, a widow who connected with Bernie eight years ago, said one aspect of love she found missing from the show was a sketch on love the second time around.
“Especially in South Florida, that would be appropriate,” she suggested.
Not a bad idea. Plenty of retirees here in the Sunshine State find new love in their golden years.
Anyone out there listening?
~anne_rodgers@pbpost.com

It was also “an incredible amount of fun, inspiring, and there’s really good music.”

The first book by an E Street Band member has been getting a push from The Boss himself, who lately has begun holding up a copy at the band’s concerts and then making a show of producing a Sharpie and asking Clarence to autograph it. Reo said Springsteen also has given permission for the book to be sold at kiosks in concert venues for the rest of the tour, which ends Nov. 22.

“He’s never done anything like that, so it’s pretty cool,” Reo said. “Bruce is so happy for Clarence; he really likes the book. I sent Bruce an e-mail to thank him for promoting it at the shows and his reply was so complimentary it actually got embarrassing.”

Reo said the pair knew they were doing something unusual by creating a book that mixed facts with legends and myths.
“It’s not your typical rock star memoir,” he said. “We had no idea how Bruce would receive it because in lots of instances we were putting words in his mouth. Our intent of course was to stay true to who he was, but we didn’t know until he read it what his reaction would be.”

Reo and Clemons have been promoting the book in New York this week with book signings, the Howard Stern show and morning television.

Clemons has said the book was Reo’s idea.

“It was,” Reo agreed. “We were sitting on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico about two years ago. We were in a lull and nothing was happening. And I said, ‘How come there are 42 books about Bruce and none about you?’ And Clarence thought about it a moment and said ‘I have no idea.’

“So I said, ‘Why don’t we take some of these stories and stuff we talk about all the time and write them down?’ ”

When they wrote the book, Reo said there was definitely an element of the two friends trying to entertain each other.

“There were so many stories we’d tell when we were out fishing or just hanging out — stories that fascinated us or made us laugh. We had so much fun we thought others would have fun too.”

Some positive reviews from readers on Amazon.com have convinced Reo that the plan worked.

“Fans of the band embraced what we did,” he said, referring to the hybrid fact-and-fiction stories sprinkled throughout Big Man. “They really got it, which is fun and gratifying to see. It is unusual. Dave Marsh wrote all those linear, factual books about Bruce that were wonderful. And this book is nothing like that. So we’re very pleased at the reactions from fans.”

When asked why, at age 67, he’s chosen to do a book now, Clemons just says the time was right.

“To tell a story, you want to find the right time,” he said. “All the stars were aligned for this book. It was meant to be.”

Sue Foley, Florence Block and Linda Gaddy are the winners of the 'Love Lessons' essay contest. (Photos by Ray Graham)

More about ‘Love is Love’ at the Maltz Jupiter Theatre

A retired payroll supervisor, a Palm Beach Community College student and an Arbonne consultant wrote the winning essays for Charm’s “Love Lessons Learned” contest, meaning they earned free tickets to next week’s debut performance of Love Is Love at the Maltz Jupiter Theatre.

To coincide with the love-centric musical revue’s opening, Charm asked readers to share their personal stories of love, along with the lessons they’ve learned about that mysterious, complicated emotion.

Linda Gaddy, a Palm Beach Gardens divorcée who is an independent consultant for Arbonne skin care and a part-time cruise consultant for Compass Rose Cruise Travel in Jupiter, entered because she thought it would be “cleansing, sort of like a release,” to tell her story. “Besides, I love the theater and thought winning tickets to the play would be fun.”

Sue Foley, 37, a student in the patient care assistant program at PBCC, said she was working the newspaper’s Jumble and saw the solicitation for love stories.

“I had my friend on my mind and had been turning things over, so I just decided to work it out in writing,” said the former film industry worker, who identifies herself as a “slam poet” and “riot grrl.”

Florence Block, who at 74 has put her life back together several times, entered the contest because she thought she had something valuable to share with other women.

Thirty years ago, she won her second husband by making the first move, and also showed courage by asking out her current beau, Bernie Belinsky.

“You can’t sit around and wait for something to happen,” said Florence. “You have to make it happen.”

When she found out she’d won, Florence shared her letter with family, one of whom told her, “Hopefully, other widows will read this and it will give them a little push to make their life more interesting and less lonesome.”

Florence Block (Ray Graham / The Post)

Florence Block, 74, Lake Worth, wrote:

After eight years, I found a wonderful guy and was married to him for 22 fabulous years. But he passed away 10 years ago, and I was very lonesome.

About a year into widowhood, I read the following paragraph in a Danielle Steel novel: “When love is real, you don’t ‘get over it’ at all. It stays with you forever, expanding your heart and enabling you to love others more deeply.”

I was so impressed with this that I read it to my new friends at the bereavement group I had joined. Because I truly believed this, I could finally be open to my future. About a year later, a blind date came along and he was as lonely as me. A week later I called him back and invited him to play golf. Now I’ve been with this man whom I truly love for the past eight fantastic years!

So if you have had real love, do take the chance to have it again.

Yes. It does happen.

Sue Foley. (Ray Graham / The Post)

Sue Foley, 37, Delray Beach, wrote

Romantic love is a gift enjoyed by the brave. To love is to be perceptive and agile, to bear witness to life’s miracles. To love is to strive for a perpetual state of openness and mindfulness, and these secrets may only be unlocked with the keys of gratitude.

I have an extended history of attracting irresistible, complicated partners whose growth I put before my own. Eventually, I gave up on love, fearful of its injurious ways. I roamed city streets, cafes and bars, completely suspicious of women I found most attractive. I was dedicated to changing myself so that I ceased to attract the wounded.

Eventually, I found my answer: If you completely immerse yourself in nature, in children, in the elderly, in music and art, in the well-being of family and community, you may access boundless love. Service is a secret recipe for cooking up huge helpings of it.

It was humility and fulfillment that intervened with my fate, and they are the best matchmakers. When your heart is fulfilled, you are granted the keys of gratitude and openness. You delight in the day-to-day, you harvest magic from the mundane. When your heart is filled with gratitude and openness to life’s miracles, you’d be surprised by the magic of romantic love just beyond your door.

I am on a frightful quest to win the heart of a very luminous, brilliant woman. I sometimes feel like a fearful amateur, but I am confident that time has served me well. I look forward to each day of joy, challenge, embarrassment, renewed pride and discovery. I silenced the echoes of cynicism with bravery and appointed myself romantic love’s most devoted and promising pupil.

Linda Gaddy (Ray Graham / The Post)

Linda Gaddy, 59, Palm Beach Gardens, wrote

I was married for 25 years and loved it, loved my husband very much. When he decided he didn’t want to be married anymore, it was absolutely devastating because I didn’t see it coming.

I had just turned 56, and it took me a long time to pick myself back up and have a normal life again. I felt like it was a little late to be starting over. Without my faith and the support system of my friends, my daughter and my sisters, I don’t know how I would have gotten through.

But what I learned was that your happiness depends solely on you, no one else. Happiness is a choice and an attitude. I think I’m younger now than I was when I was married. I’ve gotten into so many different things (Latin and ballroom dancing, zumba, learning Spanish, traveling), and have met many new people, most of whom are younger than me.

My girlfriends who knew me before say this is the best I’ve ever looked, so unfortunately, I guess divorce has agreed with me. I did love being married and miss it, but I have moved on as well as I could because I had to.

I do believe that all things are possible with God and I knew he would somehow get me back on my feet. (Hmm, what a pun, since dancing ended up being my outlet!) Prayer does work and my faith pulled me through a very bad experience.

You have to find joy within and find joy in the simple things in life.

‘Love Is Love’

A musical conceived and directed by Martin Charnin (of ‘Annie’ fame), which follows five actresses as they portray 12 women, each grappling with the emotions of love. The musical numbers and monologues deal with everything from love at first sight to the dying embers of a love gone wrong.

When: Oct. 15-18 and Oct. 22-25

Where: Maltz Jupiter Theatre

How much: $28 for orchestra seats; $25 for mezzanine

Information: (561) 575-2223 or www.jupitertheatre.org

Starring: Andrea McArdle, the original Annie, reuniting with ‘Annie’ creator, director and lyricist Martin Charnin; Avery Sommers, a Broadway veteran and Carbonell winner; Patti Eyler and Laura Hodos, both Florida theatrical stalwarts; and Shelly Burch, who starred in the Broadway production of ‘Nine’ and on ‘One Life to Live’.

“Whether it’s a fund-raiser or a charity show, the audience is always filled with ladies who have silver hair,” said Rose, who coordinates area shows for luncheons, charity galas and teas.

“When they see someone with gorgeous silver hair and a nice shape (it doesn’t have to be size 2), then right away there’s an association. They think, ‘Gosh, that lady’s my age! Or she’s older than me. And look how good she looks.’”

Rose said model identification leads women to more seriously consider the trendy clothes, thinking perhaps, “If she can get away with that outfit, maybe I can too,” even if it’s something they wouldn’t normally incorporate in their wardrobe.

Allee Newhoff, director of TV and film for the Elite Miami Model and Talent Agency in Miami, said there is a great deal of work for over-50 models in South Florida because of the travel industry, which includes cruise lines, resorts and condominiums.

“The mature models have been around a long time; they’re very professional and are ready to travel at minute’s notice,” she said. “These women are always going to have a market. It’s nice to see them a lot more often these days in catalogs. They have a certain relatability. There’s no doubt these women can sell products, sell clothing, sell a lifestyle.”

Ethel Gravett of Tequesta, who began modeling 50 years ago, said audiences relate to her more today.
“When I was younger, people would say, ‘Yeah, you look good in that, but what about me?’ Now they don’t say that. I am their age!”

Maybe that explains their success. As Rose points out: “The models with beautiful white hair get the most applause every time.”

Ethel Gravett, 75, Tequesta

Regular job: Realtor with Coldwell Banker

Years working as a model: 50

How she got started: She was asked to model for the North Palm Beach Junior Women’s Club, which led to modeling for The Red Hen, a dress shop in Tequesta.

Biggest job: While working for a local chain of clothing stores called The Cricket Shop, she became one of three “Cricket girls” in local TV ads during the ’80s.

Best thing about modeling: “Getting to wear all those beautiful clothes!”

Any tips you learned that you use when you’re not in front of the camera: “Good posture.”

Louise Diane Campanelli, 70something, Pompano Beach

Regular job: Full-time model and modeling adviser.

Years working as a model: Fairly steadily since 13.

How she got started: Since Louise was at 5 feet 9 at age 13, her older sister told her she’d be perfect for the runway and took her to a modeling school in New York.

Biggest job: A Revlon commercial with Cindy Crawford for ColorStay makeup. (She’s also worked for Armani, Starbucks, Ralph Lauren, Gold’s Gym, Hyatt and many others.)

Best thing about modeling: “The self-esteem it gives you — and meeting so many people. Plus, it keeps me on my toes about my appearance”

Any tips you learned that you use when you’re not in front of the camera: “The world is a red carpet. It seems like you’re always performing in life; you become an actress. And being a model helps you be a better actress.”

Three couples who all met at The Hut in West Palm Beach in the 50s are still married.

Maybe the fountain drinks at The Hut were spiked with Love Potion #9, or maybe it was just coincidence, but something about that gathering spot must have worked its magic to keep the knot securely tied for couples who met there.

So it was a fun reunion the other day when three couples who first laid eyes on each other back in the ’50s at The Hut gathered to reminisce about the iconic West Palm Beach drive-in and the role it played in their romances.

Joining them: the Hut’s biggest fan, Jimmy Williams, a graduate of the former Palm Beach High School, whose hand-painted mural of the old-time Hut covers one entire wall of an upstairs bedroom.

Lou and Pearl Eassa, who were celebrating their 47th anniversary that very day, told about the evening Lou pulled his car in beside hers, then ended up talking to Pearl’s girlfriend so much that his future sweetie became a bit jealous.

“I had my nose out of joint,” Pearl said, but when Lou called the next day, she eventually agreed to accompany him on a picnic. Pearl was 19, Lou was 21, and since she worked at the hospital and found out he’d been treated there, she pulled his file to check up on him.

The Hut, an iconic West Palm Beach diner, as it appeared in a Saturday Evening Post photo from June 1946

Gale Anderson met her husband, Charlie, at The Hut in the summer of 1958, when she was working at the five-and-dime after her freshman year of college. When she and a friend walked up, Charlie remembers warning his friends, “Guys, I’ve got dibs on the one in red shorts.”

He lied and told her he was a football player, but while walking her home, he realized he wanted to tell only the truth to this special girl. He asked for a date the next night, and “spent the whole time unraveling everything I’d said before.”
On the third date, he proposed.

“We dated for two years by Greyhound and letter,” Charlie said. “We wrote every day — but I bet I haven’t written 15 letters since.”
The couple retired to Tennessee a few years back, so their visit served as an excuse to reunite the friends.
Jimmy arranged it all, since he’s stayed connected to everyone.

“Jimmy is the hub of a wheel,” Gale said. “He stays in touch and is like our conduit.”

Judie Affron and Chuck Stoddard, longtime Haverhill residents and the third couple, met in October of 1960.

“I had pulled up in my white DeSoto and he had a baby blue Lincoln,” remembered Judie, a ’59 graduate of Palm Beach High.

“She thought I was crazy because I ordered a beer and a glass of milk,” said Chuck, who had an ulcer at 23.

Judie said he asked if she’d like to go to the country or the city.

“I said I liked the country and we ended up at the drive-in!”

Don’t ask her what movie was playing; she doesn’t remember — and neither does Chuck.

“Who watched the movie?” she giggled.

The frisky couple has now been together 48 years.

And if that’s not proof that Love Potion #9 was being distributed at The Hut, what is?

Longtime friends Alana Stewart (left) and Farrah Fawcett attend the 2004 after-party for the premiere of The Manchurian Candidate at the Samuel Goldwyn Theater in Beverly Hills.

UPDATE: “Charlie’s Angels’” Farrah Fawcett dies after battle with cancer

Farrah Fawcett through the years | Fawcett, 1947-2009

• TV Talk blogger Kevin D. Thompson’s interview with the actress five years ago: Remembering Farrah: She was funny, gorgeous

You’ve seen them in the tabloids, on Entertainment Tonight and in Farrah’s Story, the documentary chronicling Farrah’s battle with cancer that drew almost 9 million viewers to NBC last month.

But behind the scenes, there’s a real-life friendship between Farrah Fawcett and Alana Stewart, two former models with Texas roots who share a 30-year bond.

They’re more than celebrity darlings. They’re friends.

Which is why Alana happened to be the one Farrah turned to for a favor in May 2007, as the former Charlie’s Angel, battling anal cancer, faced another round of doctors’ meetings.

“She handed me a camera to document the meetings,” said Alana, former wife of local residents Rod Stewart and George Hamilton. “It was a new experience and Farrah wanted to be able to remember what the doctors said.

“I just started filming; there was no plan to do a documentary.”

But the camera kept running, and after a year, Farrah began to think her story, if shared, might inspire others.

Alana, who filmed and eventually produced the project, never anticipated a two-year undertaking.

“When I watch it now, I can’t believe I shot all that,” she said. “I was walking through this experience to be with my friend. The filming was secondary, an aside. It was about showing up and being there for Farrah.”

Ex-husband Hamilton, who remains good friends with Alana, said that while Farrah’s Story was a “huge stress” on Alana, “nobody ever had a better patient advocate.

“You can’t get through hospitals and our medical system without an advocate,” he said. “I’ve seen Alana be there every day for Farrah for two or three years.”

Ask about the origins of her friendship with Farrah, and Alana will tell you she was raised in tiny Nacogdoches, and Farrah in Corpus Christi. And if you know anything about Texas, you know that says it all.

“We had that Texas connection,” Alana said. “Texas people have a direct honesty and down-home values. It certainly contributed to our friendship.”

The two met during a modeling assignment in Los Angeles, but didn’t connect officially until a dinner party some years later.

“The friendship slowly built over years,” Alana said. “When you’re younger, you’re busy with kids and your life goes in a million different directions.

“But life changes when you get into your 40s and 50s; it’s more settled and serious — and your friendships become more serious. Girlfriends support you in your 20s and 30s, sure, but as you get older they become even more important.

“You can’t go to the man in your life for certain things, if there’s a man in your life. Women friends are always there.”

Hamilton said the two women are “just so much alike. … They’re close in age, and certainly Alana related to Farrah as someone who’d succeeded at what she most wanted in life. “They’re so real with each other,” he said. “They had the same reference points, which made it easy for one to finish the other’s sentence. And, of course, both of them are very strong women.” And when the hard times came, they leaned on one another, as friends do. “Farrah felt that I could protect her,” Alana said. “She knew I would kick ass for her, that I had her back.” Despite the gravity of Farrah’s illness, the two years of filming yielded precious memories for the women. Though now in their 60s, the two friends can get downright girlish when they’re together. “You should see them,” Hamilton laughed. “Put them together and they’re exactly like two kids having cheeseburgers and Cokes at a small-town drive-in.” Said Alana: “That’s a great description.”