Tim, I don't want this image burned on my retinas forever. And why did they make you stand next to a trash can?!

It comes quickly in the Project Runway seasons, blowing in like a sandstorm. And if you can’t play nice in the sandbox, you’re going home.

I speak, of course, of the team challenge. Episode three, and here we go.

Everyone hops in the vans for a little trip to…the Santa Monica Pier! Oh, how I miss that place. Such delights I had there, riding the Ferris wheel, buying cheap jewelry, getting hit on by an off-duty cop. But I digress… You know, moving Project Runway out to the West Coast has actually provided a nice influx of sand, sun and fun. And today, the designers meet Tim, who’s doing something that I wish he’d never done. He’s wearing mandals. Yes, the dreaded man sandals. Tim, no — for the love of fashion, never again.

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Just a couple of very blonde, very tall, pregnant ladies.

Here we are at week two of Project Runway, hatchlings, and it’s getting easier to discern what the judges are looking for this season. To whit: sloppy construction will beat a freaky concept, so take your conceptual ideas elsewhere, designers.

But I get ahead of myself. You see, I’ve been sick in bed for two days with something much akin to morning sickness. Except it isn’t. So Mom, if you’re reading this, I’m not pregnant! Rebecca Romijn, however, was when this episode was filmed, and with twins, to boot. So the challenge was to make a design for her to prance around in. Let’s start the show!

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Greetings fellow fashionistas! Whether you know how to wield a needle and thread, have a mean peddle foot with your Singer, Brother or Janome machine, or just like a little drama with your Thursday nights, I’m here to help you relive the fabric-flinging fun that is Project Runway.

I’m Tanya W., and I’m an independent knitwear designer. Which means I’m currently unemployed, with the exception of selling my own original creations on Etsy, like every other guy and gal with a machine (mine is a Soviet-era Singer).

I also design knitwear patterns, and will have three published in 2010 by major publishers — so I’m living the dream (sort of).

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The artist: Mandy Moore

The album: Amanda Leigh (Storefront)

The spin: Is it better to try too hard or not try at all? If the answer is the former, then Mandy Moore is guilty on her latest recording, Amanda Leigh. Using her given name as the title to indicate the continuing directional shift that began with 2007′s Wild Hope, Moore has wrangled power pop architect Mike Viola (Candy Butchers, co-producer and singer of “That Thing You Do!”) to produce and co-write a suite of ’70s-leaning love and life songs that incorporate hand claps (“I Could Break Your Heart Any Day of the Week”) and syncopated piano (“Pocket Philosopher”) for the upbeat, more successful tracks. But when the disc takes it down a notch, on the maudlin “Indian Summer” and lyrically ponderous “Everblue” (huh?), you can feel Moore straining too hard to pay homage to some of her influences — which she did much better on her sublime all-covers album, 2003′s Coverage. Here’s a tip — keep it peppy, Mandy, and folks will enjoy a trip in the wayback machine, cruising down the imaginary Pacific Coast Highway in their minds. You have a lovely, clear voice, and Amanda Leigh‘s lighter, tighter cuts would have sounded smashing pouring out of the AM radio back in the sunny Cali day.

The grade: B-

Listen to “Pocket Philosopher”:

Pocket Philosopher – Mandy Moore

Or you can check out the video for “I Could Break Your Heart Any Day of the Week”, featuring MMA superstar Chuck Liddell.

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