So it’s “Song From The Year You Were Born” night, and I suddenly get sad for all those kids just coming up who one day with only have Katy Perry songs to choose from.

He went last, but since Adam Lambert again grabbed this thing and ran with it, I’ll start with him. Of course he did “Mad World” by Tears For Fears, because that’s what melodramatic baby goths do. And it’s gorgeous. This is what he should be concentrating on – songs that show off his voice but don’t have him running around like a big cartoon. He’s a smart, talented boy, and if he keeps this up, he’s almost golden. I love Kris Allen more. But the people seem to be on the Adam train.

– Our first singer is Danny Gokey, who was born in 1980. We almost have the same birthday, several years apart. He’s the oldest of the Idols, which means I could have babysat all of them – I love being old.
He’s doing Mickey Gilley’s version of Stand By Me. Why? And the kids are “Mickey Mouse’s last name is Gilley?”
It’s not bad! The arrangement was a little precious, like “Watch me be artsy!” But he’s got a great voice and I’m not bored this week, so good on ya. But I wish he’d done something better, like The Commodore’s “Still.” He does love the sad songs.

– Kris Allen: The Cougar’s Choice!:He was born June 21, 1985. As a kid he wanted to drive a taxi, like Harry Chapin. (Ask your parents). So of all the songs from 1985, he picks “All She Wants To Do Is Dance?” What is this awful arrangement? Why does it sound like Stevie Wonder arranged this on his way back from the “Part Time Lover” sessions? And then told that joke about driving home, and everybody had to laugh because it’s Stevie Wonder, even though he technically can’t see you if you don’t?
Kara said it sounded like music theory class homework, Simon said it was forgettable, Randy made sure everybody knew that he knows who produced the Don Henley version, and Paula talked about his aura and magical illusions and why fools fall in love and then want to throw things at Ryan Seacrest.

– Lil was born in 1984, and she and her mom want y’all to know that her name is Lil, after her grandmother Lily, and not Lil’, after Kim. Get it right, Simon. She is Tina Turner-ing it up with “What’s Love Got To Do With It” and it’s more karaoke than you would ever believe. I am so ready for her to go home. The sad part is that she didn’t sound all that bad. But it’s a struggle and she needs to go. Simon tells her “it’s literally like we have lost you.”
Amen.

— Anoop, circa 1986, bobbles the words to “True Colors” (The darkness down inside does not make you feel strong. It makes you feels small. If darkness made you strong you would be evil. Or C. Thomas Howell from “Red Dawn” (Ask your folks, kids!) But he sounds great I love him. Can’t help it.

— Oh, Scott, our Basket of Puppies from 1985. He’s singing Survivor’s “The Search Is Over,” to “get in touch with his punk side.” There is so much wrong with that statement that I can’t even begin. Yes I can. It’s a power ballad, man! It’s the opposite of punk! His voice is just OK. If he was gonna go cheese he should have done John Parr’s “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion).” I like that he’s trying to be fun. But he can go home. Before Lil.

— Allison was born in 1992, around my 21st birthday. I remember spending it walking around college wondering if I’d bought the right gross fruit drink for my introduction in legal drinky-poo. She sounds great on “I Can’t Make You Love Me” but I can’t help but be sad that she’s singing about sleeping with a guy who doesn’t love her as much as she loves him, so they can say goodbye and she can go crawl somewhere and weep.

— Matt Giraud, of 1985, singing the skanky “Part Time Lover.” He’s brilliant, sexy, jaunty and tuneful. The cougars have another choice.

This was so much better than it could have been! What do you think? And if you had been on the show, what song from your birth year would you have sung? I would’ve done 1971′s “Rainy Days and Mondays” because they do always get me down. Like Scott singing Survivor songs.

Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa filled most of a city block beside the Mississippi River with devoted fans Monday, taking their syndicated talk show to New Orleans where they danced to a brass band and spoke of adventures touring alligator-infested swamps and sampling spicy Cajun fare.

The hosts arrived days ahead of the Monday and Tuesday taping of “Live with Regis and Kelly,” readying four consecutive shows to be aired through Thursday. On Friday, they return to their New York studio.

Philbin said he ate his way through four succulent New Orleans restaurants. Ripa, her actor husband Mark Consuelos and their three children took a boat tour of a south Louisiana swamp where they eyed alligators and wild boar. Read the full story

Levi Johnston, the ex-fiance of Bristol Palin, daughter of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was on The Tyra Banks Show Monday morning to “break his silence.”

The dirt Even before the break up, there was some Palin/Johnston family tension, and the interview did reveal some more details. Although Levi attributes the break up to “fights and complication,” he did mention that his sister didn’t really get along with Bristol.

Warning: This is going to start sounding like the script from Mean Girls but bear with me.

The main reason Levi’s sister and Bristol didn’t get along is because Levi’s sister is friends with a few of his ex-girlfriends. And Bristol wasn’t too keen on having Levi’s ex-girlfriends around their baby which sounds reasonable enough — especially since they’re probably 16 years old. Apparently, that upset Levi’s sister, especially when she found out that Bristol had her friends around the baby.

Highlights

Levi showed off his tattoo of Bristol’s name on his finger and admitted that it was probably a mistake. Well, can’t say it’s the worst mistake he’s made. He did appear on the Tyra Banks show. Oprah wasn’t available?
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…and yet, not so much.

I’ve given up on expecting completely funny episodes of “SNL,” so I’ve just settled on the faint hope of laughing really well a couple of times. And I did thoroughly crack up during Seth Meyers’ “Weekend Update,” which just slapped the comedy ball out of the park with pretty much every joke. (More on that later).

Otherwise, it was just…blah. To be fair, I missed the first 30 minutes, so perhaps there was some sort of unbelievably timeless and hilarious thing that I’ll kick myself for having missed the first time.

But from the looks of the remaining hour, that’s highly unlikely.

Rogan is charming enough, but not charming enough to pull off dead on arrival sketches like that “Guy tapes over big project with song from “Grease” soundtrack” and “Muppets go medieval on Nipsy Russell”. Ai-yi-yi. (Although I did get tickled by the Swedish Chef chilling out Beaker by yelling “Smorgy Borg!” I shall try this with my cat.)

However, Weekend Update was excellent enough to make me forget all that. Seth Meyer’s jokes was on fire, with jokes about how Michelle Obama should drive a Chrysler if she really wants to put her celebrity to good use and how both the President and Queen Elizabeth need to step up with the gift giving (“You’re world leaders, not Secret Santas”).

Also, I can always use a little Jean K. Jean (Zut alors!) and the Madonna/Angelina baby fight. Delicious.

Taj is my favorite current “Survivor,” as she is 37-year-old woman who’s older and fierce, even though she’s not one of the younger contestants, or one of the most buff. And she was in an early ’90s girl group – along with “Celebrity Apprentice” boardroom bunny Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins of TLC, she is part of the Girl Group Reality Show Revolution, and I will not be happy until Gioia Bruno and Jeanette Jurado of Expose team up to transport traditional Swedish meat products across a ski resort on “The Amazing Race.”

The thing is, Taj is not going to survive past next week’s tribal merger unless she learns to be a more stealth player – ie. Shut the heck up.

First, she was bursting to tell yet another tribe member (J.T.) about the hidden immunity idol that she found, just like she couldn’t keep mum about being the wife of famous rich football player Eddie George. And then she left the immunity idol in with the fishing stuff, and left poor Steven to plead her case with the folks ready to vote her out.

But somehow, she made it through the vote (bye, Sydney!), so I hope she learns from her incredible luck and starts trying to get people to trust her. And stop leaving stuff around.

In other happenings:

— Coach is still a tool.

— I totally want one of those ceramic pigs they were tossing in that reward challenge.

— Coach is a garden hoe.

— I want a stomach like Erinn.

— Joe is not nearly as charming as he seems to think he is.

— Those wild animals edited into the scenes like they’re bearing down on Coach right look soooo phony.

— Coach is a Garden Weasel.

CBS is pulling the plug on the soap opera “Guiding Light” after a 72-year run that predates television, the show a victim of the economy and changed viewing habits. The drama’s final episode will air on Sept. 18. The Guinness Book of World Records has cited it as the longest-running television drama. It began as a 15-minute serial on NBC Radio on Jan. 25, 1937, and debuted on CBS TV in 1952, focusing on the fictional town of Springfield and the Spaulding, Lewis and Cooper families.

“For many of us, it was the first show we ever watched,” said Lynn Leahey, editorial director of Soap Opera Digest. Unlike prime-time shows that came and went, it was a constant in people’s lives. “It really is heartbreaking to see something like this go away.”

Procter & Gamble Productions, which makes the show, informed cast and crew Wednesday at separate sets in New York and New Jersey. The company isn’t giving up on the story, and will explore different ways to keep it going after September, a spokeswoman said.

Soap operas have been in a long, slow decline in popularity, primarily because many of the women who made up their loyal audiences are no longer at home at that hour. They’re working, and can find the communal experience that their favorite soaps once gave them elsewhere.

“Guiding Light” had the lowest ratings of the eight daytime dramas on the air. When it leaves, CBS and ABC will have three weekday soap operas, with NBC having one.

“The numbers are really tough for all of these old dramas,” said Ron Raines, the actor who portrayed the villain Alan Spaulding in “Guiding Light.”

“I don’t think any of the other shows want any of us to go off. We’re all in this together,” he said.

Many successful actors got their start on “Guiding Light,” including James Earl Jones, Calista Flockhart, Hayden Panettiere, Kevin Bacon and Taye Diggs.

Faced with extinction a year ago, “Guiding Light” significantly revamped its operations. It ditched its fixed, three-camera set in favor of portable cameras that enabled producers to shoot in different locations. The move saved money and changed the show’s look to make it seem more like the reality shows younger viewers are accustomed to.

It didn’t work, at least enough for CBS. The network hasn’t said what will replace “Guiding Light” on the schedule, but it will almost certainly be a talk or game show, which are much cheaper to make than dramas with a large cast.

The changes also made many of the fans and cast members unhappy, said Carolyn Hinsey, Soap Opera Digest columnist. Two of its biggest stars, Beth Ehlers and Ricky Paull Goldin, quit and now work on ABC’s “All My Children.”

For fans of the genre, Wednesday’s move could be a peek into the future.

Ten years from now, “I absolutely think (daytime dramas) will still be around,” Leahey said. “I don’t know if you’ll be able to watch them from noon to three o’clock on network television.”

In fact, the cancellation could be an opportunity for “Guiding Light,” she said. Perhaps there’s a way to keep the show alive on cable or online; Procter & Gamble says it will have to evaluate whether there’s a cost-effective way to do that.

For now, its cast and crew are in mourning.

“What is it? 72 years continuous?” Raines said. “That will never be touched. It’s a very sad thing, but these are the times we live in. It’s very tough out there.”

For years, it seemed like nothing could kill ER.

Not falling ratings. Not massive cast turnovers. Not Kellie Martin as a straight-laced medical student.

It’s no secret that the aging medical drama has been on life support the last few seasons. If ER were a dying patient, the plug would’ve been pulled a long time ago.

While co-creator John Wells won’t publicly divulge how the series will end, he has said the final episode will focus heavily on Dr. John Carter (Noah Wyle). That’s only appropriate since viewers were always supposed to be viewing the series through innocent Carter’s eyes.

But good TV shows never truly die. They just glide to that wonderfully lucrative afterlife called syndication.
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To paraphrase Nina Simone, HBO’s “No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency,” which bounded to luminous, if slow-moving, life last night, is a new dawn and a new day for the violence and shock-skewing network and for TV, period.

And I’m feeling good.

Considering that most HBO shows involve random, brutal killing, graphic sex or all manner of freakiness, feeling good isn’t a usual by-product. (A week after the season finale of “Big Love,” I’m still checking under the bed for creepy drag king Selma Green. And crying a little bit.)
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By Don Jordan

The drama. The intrigue. The slobber.

Veteran Delray Beach dog groomer Bill Jividen will make his television debut next month as one of a dozen contestants appearing on the second season of "Groomer Has It."

The Animal Planet competition show – in the same vein as "Top Chef" and "Project Runway" – pits pooch-primping professionals against one another to determine the top dog in grooming.

The shaving and shearing is critiqued by judges – "This isn't grooming school," Simon Cowell-esque judge Xavier Santiago growls to a crying competitor in a trailer for the show – and groomers are sent home one by one, with the winner receiving a new car, $50,000 and a grooming salon on wheels. The show premieres April 11 at 9 p.m.

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Another episode of Celebrity Apprentice and another opportunity to psychoanalyze the over-indulged, spoiled pseudo-celebrities.

Let’s get the business part of this blog out of the way. The challenge was brought to you by ACN Video phones. The teams had to stage a product launch of the new videophones to get the ACN sales reps excited about the product. Singer Brian McKnight was chosen as the project manager for the boys’ team and suitcase opener on Deal or No Deal Claudia Jordan was selected as project manager for the girls. The winning project manager gets $20,000 for their charity.

Okay, business is now out of the way. Let’s get to the good stuff. What is Dennis Rodman on? The teams decided to flip a coin to see who would get to present their launch second. Rodman and Clint Black previously had had a little “talk” where Rodman felt that country singer Black was targeting him. Black tried to defuse the situation, but Rodman just wouldn’t have it.

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