Leslie Streeter falls while practicing with the Palm Beach Roller Girls at Palm Beach Skate Zone in Western Lake Worth on July 11, 2010. Photo by Damon Higgins/Palm Beach Post.

Clik/Hear: Meet the Palm Beach Rollergirls

In my imagination, this is what’s happening: I am a fierce roller derby competitor, making a sharp, deft turn as the wheels of my left skate slice to a stop so precise it would make a surgeon jealous. Forget Speed Racer — I’m the demon on wheels.

Sadly, this is what’s really happening: After approximately eleventy-three attempts to master a simple move called a T-stop, where you turn one foot and drag it, I finally stop … with my butt.
This is SO not fierce.

“Try it again,” says my instructor, Palm Beach Rollergirl Shanna Walker, aka Lil Angel of Mischief, as I stumble to my feet and sheepishly skate back to the wall.

I am here at Palm Beach Skate Zone in suburban Lake Worth on New Girl Day for the Palm Beach Rollergirls, with other women ranging from their late teens to mid-40s dreaming of skating their way into the ranks of the Rollergirls, the genuine speed demons. Apparently I, at least right now, will not be one of them.

But the confidence, fun and general awesomeness of the team, who today will be lacing up to go helmet-to-helmet with the South Florida Rollergirls of Fort Pierce at the Skate Zone, make me swallow my pride. I summon my moxie and skate back to the wall to try again.

Formed last fall, the Rollergirls are the local, hard-charging representatives for roller derby, which has been called the fastest-growing sport in the country. The source of some of that interest is certainly last year’s Drew Barrymore-directed roller derby dramedy Whip It. It’s a real sport, where a player on each team, called the jammer, tries to lap the crush of skaters on both teams, scoring a point when they outskate the line.

Besides the physical demands of the game, there’s the time commitment, with three practices a week, as well as the huge chance that you might twist, tear or sprain something. So why do they do it? These ladies are after a combination of fellowship, exercise and a fast-moving outlet for whatever stress and annoyance they might have been holding in all week. Don’t go all road ragey on that driver, ladies — strap on some knee pads and roll it out!

“Once I started skating, I wanted to be on skates all of the time, like Tootie on Facts of Life,” says Jessica Pac of West Boca aka Pac Bauer. Her outfit marries both the Jack Bauer and Atari themes. She has the title “24:00” written on her back and a bright yellow enamel Pac Man belt.

“It’s like flying. And if you knew how to fly,” she says, “why would you ever want to walk again?”

The Rollergirls all cut an impressive swath in the gear, but their backgrounds are as varied as their creative and, in some cases, hilariously unprintable derby names. Lil’ Angel is a business analyst. Leslie Pearce (Aka Pearce Thruya) is an architect, while Camille Blanton (Evil Camiville) is a lawyer and 14-year-old Ashley Obel (Lady Graceful), an excellent skater on the junior team who routinely practices with the big girls, is about to start her freshman year at Dreyfoos School For the Arts.

“One of the best things about derby is that no matter your age, size, or ability when you start, there is a place for you in derby if you don’t mind working at it,” says Pearce Thruya, 39, who sweetly tries to make me feel better about my lack of stop-ability. “There is a lot of camaraderie amongst the team and I’m really happy that I have the teammates I do.”

The basic requirements are being a female, age 18 or over, who’s willing to learn. Some of my fellow hopefuls here on New Girl Day can’t even skate. But every single one of them say they’ll be back for more punishment and, likely, more falling.

But as I see it, falling’s just the step before you get back up, the step that gets you that much closer to flying.

Palm Beach Rollergirls’ debut bout is today at 7:30 p.m. at 8125 Lake Worth Road.