Has there ever been a movie villainess more misunderstood than Baroness Elsa Schrader, the purringly fabulous platinum blonde fiancée of The Sound of Music’s stoic Capt. Von Trapp? It’s not like she’s Cruella de Vil, trying to murder puppies so she could wear them.

The silkily elegant, society-conscious baroness, played with enunciated haughtiness by Eleanor Parker, isn’t evil. Nope, she’s a just a savvy 40-year-old woman trying to keep the nanny from poaching her man.

It’s obvious to anyone who knows the real-life history of The Sound of Music, celebrating its 45th anniversary this year, that the Baroness is fighting a losing battle. Yet, after watching the movie again recently, I can’t help but feel her icy blonde pain.

She’s a necessary plot device, a bump along the road of true love for Maria (Julie Andrews) and Capt. Georg (Christopher Plummer), who are obviously meant for each other. But she’s a fascinating and, in retrospect, surprisingly sympathetic bump.

As a kid, I saw elegant socialite Elsa as a gold-digging viper plotting to send her very rich betrothed’s seven kids away to “that marvelous little invention called boarding school.” But not anymore. Does she plan to actually send them away? Sure. Does she mess with innocent nanny Maria’s head to get her to hightail it back to the convent once she figures out that Georg is digging on the help? Guilty!

But who wouldn’t? Elsa doesn’t smash Maria’s guitar against the wall or try to trip her, mid-twirl, off a mountain. She simply tries to scare her back into the habit by telling her that Georg might believe that he’s in love with Maria, triggering all of her good girl guilt. It’s sorta darkly brilliant.

Think of it this way: Elsa is a socialite with impeccable hair and the ability to make lesser social butterflies shrivel in the light of her superiority. Since it’s established that she and the captain have known each other awhile, the fact that she’s sort of a snotty witch shouldn’t have been a shock to him.

She’s not maternal, and he knows she’s not gonna be running around Do-Re-Me-ing with his brats anytime soon, but she’s not plotting to send them into woods with a henchman and an ax either. Neither of them seem to be marrying for love but for companionship and shared social fabulousness.

And this, friends, is why I feel so sorry for the baroness. Georg is not some doofus babe in the woods. He’s a stinking captain in the Austrian navy!

The baroness didn’t drug him and hoist him by the lederhosen until he proposed to her. He’s the prototype for all of those clueless rom-com “heroes” who propose to someone they probably know they don’t love, and break it off at the last second, after important jewelry has been exchanged and caterers have been hired.

Look, I’m not hating on Maria. She isn’t brazenly loosening her dirndl at strategic moments when the captain walks by. She’s a nun, for one, and kind to several initially hateful children who put bugs in her chair and make her the fall guy for their rendezvous with future Nazis.

Because Maria’s so obviously a darling, she’s gonna have to win. The last time we see our baroness, she’s bidding Georg a pretty classy adieu and letting him off the hook to go make perfect music with sweet mousy whats-her-name. Watching the movie again, I was struck by what an adult she is – no flouncing out or throwing champagne flutes. She’s not a witch. She’s a role model.

And in the end, once Georg and Maria get married and wind up fleeing the Nazis after their last big family singing performance, you know it worked out for the best, because I cannot see the Baroness hiking up the mountain with step-brats in tow. Hopefully Elsa hightailed it back to Vienna, found some even wealthier widower – a childless one – and spent the rest of her days happy, jewel-covered and fabulous.

And every once in a while, I imagine her hearing a snatch of Edelweiss, smiling to herself and raising a toast to the Von Trapps and their happiness. And being sorta glad she’s not out there climbing every mountain with them. Because divas don’t climb mountains.

~leslie_streeter@pbpost.com