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- Family ties: Michael Jackson’s siblings and children, Janet (from left), Paris, LaToya, Jermaine and Prince Michael share the stage at the Staples Center. (AP)
Given that Michael Jackson was the ringmaster of the world’s foremost entertainment circus, I was expecting his final act to be a spectacle. An extravaganza.
Cirque du Soleil with a casket.
Instead, Tuesday’s memorial service turned out to be a nice, almost ordinary family funeral. Sure, it was a family funeral at a basketball arena with about 9,000 ticket-holders, concerns about crowd control, an international television audience, a congressional proclamation and a poem written for the occasion by Maya Angelou.
But the most striking moments at Los Angeles’ Staples Center were those that highlighted not Michael Jackson, the icon, but a complicated human being. Who built and burned bridges. Who will be glorified and vilified but, at least on this day, was grieved for by his mother who misses him. By his stoic brother who told a funny story about Michael’s shoes and wailed, “I hurt.”
And by a beautiful, sobbing daughter who misses her father.
And in that moment, Michael Jackson wasn’t an icon. He was somebody’s daddy. And no matter how you felt about him, how could you not hurt a little, too?
Of course, part of his appeal was that he was at once human and larger than life. Only a superstar gets a service produced by High School Musical director Kenny Ortega. And as much as you love her poetry, Angelou is probably never going to write a poem when you die, let alone hand it to Queen Latifah to read.
But there were moments, amid the pomp, celebrity and dance breaks, that fondly reminded me of every funeral I’ve ever been to. There was the sweet but inappropriately dressed niece (Mariah Carey and her cleavage). The uncle who droned on too long, trying to be memorable but mostly enjoying his own droning (Al Sharpton).
The godfather who sang a church song even though he knew half the attendees weren’t religious (Lionel Richie and his lovely rendition of the Commodores’ gospel hit Jesus Is Love). The other uncle who quietly, humbly blew everyone away with his tribute because he let his song and his tears speak for him (Stevie Wonder and his heartbreaking, “Oh Michael, why didn’t you stay” on Never Dreamed You’d Leave in Summer.)
And there were moments when someone’s private grief became so public that you wanted to look away and couldn’t, like heir apparent Usher singing directly to the rose-covered casket. It could have been a showboat gesture, grotesque, but when I watched Usher crumble in tears, I thought, “This is real.”
And no matter what I knew about Michael Jackson, I hurt.
Maybe it’s because I am a realist, as a journalist and as a human being, that I am suspicious of any memorial service in which no one ever mentions the foibles of the dearly departed — my retired pastor grandfather always talks about preaching the funerals of known rascals, raconteurs and scoundrels lauded as the second coming of Martin Luther King.
So I was pleased that amid the deification, however sincere, by the famous fans who were inspired by him or knew him on the periphery, there were glimpses of the flawed but human man lying in that casket. Of course, nobody came out and said, “And despite those charges, this was a great guy!” But the best moments were the most honest.
Motown founder Berry Gordy’s address, for instance, was astonishing. Here was the man who first marketed this child and set him on the road to be an international commodity, admitting how competitive and overwhelming an environment Motown was, and who actually, tactfully mentioned Michael’s “questionable choices” and then left it at that.
More astonishing was the luminous, overcome Brooke Shields, who spoke about how everybody thought her friendship with Michael was weird, when it was, to her, the most natural thing in the world. And here is why: They’d both had their childhoods sexualized, merchandised and scrutinized from Day One, and no one got it but each other.
And that’s why those moments where Michael’s weirdness and awkwardness were mentioned along with his wonderfulness, meant so much more than when the speaker tried to explain the oddness away. I’m sure Al Sharpton meant to be comforting when he spoke directly to little Paris, Prince Michael and Prince Michael “Blanket” II and told them, “There was nothing strange about your daddy. It was strange what your daddy had to deal with.”
But even though Sharpton got a standing ovation, that bit left me a little cold, because it wasn’t true. Of course, Michael Jackson was strange, and not just in the lurid ways we’re not supposed to remember at his funeral. He was a grown man in sequined epaulets who lived at an amusement park. His kid’s nickname was Blanket. He went out of his way to be strange, but still managed to be someone we marveled at, felt close enough to be disappointed in, and, ultimately, loved.
It would have been tragic if, in this final tribute, we hadn’t been allowed to remember that.
This has got to be the most rediculously written article I have ever read. Hmm… I wonder what you thought about Michael before he died? This must be in the SOUTH, where you have some hint of compassion, but you are really not and probably will never be. WONDER WHAT WILL YOUR FUNERAL REFLECT? WILL IT BE A CELEBRATION OF LIFE OR JUST A CELEBRATION?
THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE, SHERRY! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY????
Beautiful memorial, and great article putting it in perspective. I disagree with you on Al Sharpton’s “strange” comment though, as I think it was an appropriate thing to have said…and I am generally no fan of Al Sharpton. Who doesn’t have some “strange” in their closet? For Michael, his was put on display and placed under a microscope. RIP MJ.
Of course, MJ had a human side. But he also had a really, really dark side. Let’s be honest. To call him a “humanitarian” is utterly ridiculous. He made beautiful, touching music. That makes him a great entertainer, not a humanitarian. My sister-in-law who adopted three children and my neighbor who volunteers at the veterans’ clinic are humanitarians. Please tell me what Michael did for the benefit of mankind. Yes, we all have some strange in our closet. Michael slept with young children. Hard to get stranger than that!
Hmmm… Michael slept with little kids? No one can honestly confirm that but Michael, we can all say what we feel and think, but no one was there. Despite, what was said about Michael he was a humanitarian. To understand anyone, you have to walk in their shoes.
I believe he would qualify for the title of “humanitarian”. He is in the Guiness Book for breaking the world record for the “Most Charities Supported By a Pop Star”.
He may have been a weirdo, but you can’t deny his musical talent or the fact that he supported 39 charity organizations.
Was he perfect? Nope. Did he make bad choices? Yup. But he was a musical genius and definitely a humanitarian.
he was so a humantiarian! he donated millions of dollars to charity organizations! ronald regan even presented him with an award! what pop star gets an award handed to them by a president??!?!?!!
I thought it was the most beautiful memorial to Michael Jackson. Him passing away is very sad for me. I feel part of my childhood was taken away, I grew up with Michael Jackson’s mucic as the greatest entertainer in the world. I still feel that way. I believe everyone who spoke, spoke from their hearts and that’s what’s important. I was so proud of his daughter speaking at the end. That did it for me. I needed more tissues. It was a great tribute to a great man and the memorial was done in a spectacular, gracious manner. He will be missed and left us too early in life. But he’s in God’s hands now and may he get the peace he deserves. I just feel so bad for his children, but their family bond will help them through this.
THANK GOD IT IS OVER! The world is still moving, there is North Korea, there is Irak , Afghanistan, there is the world economical situation…the President is in Russia…and so many important things…
MJ was a talented man. Strange? yes! but musically talented. JUST A MAN. Rest in peace and goodbye.
Next subject?
IT WILL NEVER BE OVER, his memory will live on. This country economical situation, who cares. Our government didn’t care about us when he saw us going into the hole. Wars going on, ahh, big deal! Read the bible, it speaks about all of this. So all we can do is prepare for the world’s ending, Thats all! We will always remember good people. I don’t think, I’d call Michael strange, I think he was unique individual. So what, he was accused of sleeping with little boys, Was anyone there to witness it. We should NEVER act as if be dont have any dark moments. Like Marlon Jackson said, “Maybe now, they’ll leave you alone Michael!”
I Love you Michael….
I agree totally!!!!
First of all Iraq is spelled with a “Q” not a “K”. Don’t hate paticipate. He more or less tried too bring people together. Everyone has a little strange in them including you and I DC.
DON’T YOU MEAN, IraQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ? Geeeeeeez!
Lisa L.: I completely understand that Al Sharpton was being comforting – the point that I was making was that Michael’s strangeness, even his positive strangeness, was on display – in the “Thriller” video he says “I’m not like other guys” and he was right! I didn’t mean to say that people should dwell on negatives at a funeral. I just meant that I was comforted that some people tried to shed some light on the odd life he inherited from his parents and from fame, and then the odd life that he created. And that was part of what they loved about him.
And Dania: I agree! It’s time to focus on other things, and I believe that the focus won’t be as intensely on Michael Jackson now. The subject won’t go away – but it will calm down. I hope.
Thanks guys!
Finally it’s over. Bye Bye, can’t use up all of our oxygen anymore.
“Yawn” Wake me when its over.ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
RICK!!! wake up , look it’s Elvis!!!!
Ed C… Despite all the drama that surrounded Mike on a day to day basis, he is nevertheless HUMAN. To anwer your question, “Please tell me what Michael did for the benefit of mankind?” Well, let’s take a good look back. A little group called the Jackson 5, hmm did they not spring board male groups? Lets not forget that your favorite artist(s) were inspired and wouldn’t be your favorite artists without him. When all the drama was going on in the world, what did Mike do, “Heal the World.” Every race/country jumped right in to live the lyrics. Have you ever listened to “Man in the Mirror?” Mike was human and like all humans, he made mistakes and lived a life that most would call “strange.” But he more importantly provided inspiration through his music.
I didn’t watch any of the memorial service. Quite frankly I was tired of hearing about MJ for the past week. I did pick up different parts of the service here and there. I think you did a beautiful job writing about it and sharing your thoughts.
“Please tell me what Michael did for the benefit of mankind?” … I bet this wasn’t said by someone who benefited from what MJ accomplished, so if you said it, you won’t get it, and you probably don’t care to get it.
As for Michael being strange, it is possible he molested children but it was never proven, so all we are left with is opinion.
Sleeping with children may be strange but that doesn’t mean his heart wasn’t right or that he did anything wrong. In today’s society, children are treated for the most part like property, however here is a person who made it a point to recapture and keep the childhood that was stolen from him.
I was a single custodial father of my first 2 children for 10 years and I have a great empathy and ‘strange’ relationship with children in most part because of my own childhood. All of my adults friends think I am strange while giving me envious glances, but I think that it is strange that I am closer to their own children than they are. My new wife -of 6 years- was in great part attracted to me by my relationship with my children and children in general. She is a 2nd grade teacher and she thinks it is pathetic, how the vast majority of chilren are treated, even by parents who think that they are considerate and affectionate than most.
Society considers me strange in many ways. And that is alright with me. You don’t get to judge me. And you don’t get to judge Michael Jackson. So deal with it.
Byrd: First of all, participate has an “r” in it. Don’t be so quick to correct someone next time when they’re just voicing their opinion. We all make mistakes!
Let the man rest in peace….My God, he was found innocent of all charges, yet we want to put him on the stand again?, let’s be for real and accept that he was the greatest performer of this century. May rest in peace Michael
To Ed C:
You have to be retarded to say something like ” To call him a “humanitarian” is utterly ridiculous. “….Is it ridiculous? Do you even know what he’s done for humanity in his life? I bet I can answer that….No! He is in the Guinness World Record as the most charitable person in the world..So to compare him to your neighbor who volunteers is utterly ridiculous…This man has given millions and millions of dollars to needy people and volunteered more time then you will ever know. This is also a man who said he was gonna adopt 2 kids from every continent cause it was his dream….Can you honestly stand behind your utterly ridiculous comment? Get a grip and how about you read and learn about a subject before saying something that makes you sound sooo ignorant…
To Ed C….what did Michael Jackson do to be called “humanitarian”?
Let’s see now….broke down huge racial barriers in the entertainment industry and beyond, donated millions of dollars to charities, co-wrote “We Are the World” (not to mention the other songs he wrote) and organized the donations of millions more to feed the world’s hungry and sick children. Gave liberally to hospitals’ children’s units, etc., etc.,
And what did YOU do to improve life in your little community today?
Michael Jackson…strange? It’s the media itself that drives any celebrity to such extremes in the first place. If an entertainer doesn’t do something different, or act strangely, or top their last act in some way, the media gets bored and walks away. When the entertainers create something utterly unique, the media labels them as weird or strange, but at least they’re paying attention. People like Michael Jackson can’t win either way they play it. The only thing they can do is attempt to stay in the lime light so their career keeps going.
Rev. Sharpton was right (this time). Beneath it all, MJ was human, was loved by his family and children. He had deep feeelings and personal demons as well; not unlike any of the rest of us. He was criticized, belittled and judged by anyone who thought they knew better. He was sought after, chased down and targeted as well.
He was also acquited on all charges.
Given the same situations, under the same set of circumstances could anyone of us do any better?
I’d bet few have even the guts to try.
Like Jolly, Michael was a big part of my music life. When your a kid, teen you life is made up of very few things, musice is one of them. I will mourne his death like everyone else my age and know that he=is talent and forsite into the music world will live forever. ROCK ON MICHAEL, ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Although it has been a couple of years since this event, I am just now reading this article and I am in awe of the perspective and insight you saw at this funeral service. As you stated it was a somewhat “normal” family service that happened to include many well-known entities. The service did not try to hide his “abnormalities” but it did not dwell on them either. He was not presented as a “saint” but rather a human being that had to deal with many strange situations, some of which were his own creations and others foisted upon him. He is an icon and always will be whether you liked him or not and his presence will be felt for generations to come. He will be missed by many, and he leaves a legacy that will be untouchable. Michael Jackson was truly unique (good and bad).