The other day on the elliptical machine at the gym, trying not to think about how I’d rather be napping, I read Eating The Dinosaur, pop culture critic Chuck Klosterman’s 2009 book of essays. And I came across a passage about his suspicions of celebrities and philanthropy.
He suggests that while it’s hard to criticize anyone’s altruism — “because of course charity is wonderful,” that “there’s something perverse about public altruism; it always feels like the individual is trying to purchase ‘good person’ status. … Oprah is doing something good, but not necessarily for the motive of goodness. And the motive matters.”
Well, it might matter to us self-appointed societal critics, who have nothing to lose but our cynicism. But I seriously doubt that the people who are stuck in an unimaginable hell of suffering and disaster, like the survivors of the Haitian earthquake, are going to look down at the life-saving water and shelter they’ve been given and go, “Who raised this again? George Clooney? Well, I’m giving it back! He’s not using me to feel better about himself!”

I choose to believe that even in the eye of the self-congratulatory storm, there are people such as Clooney, Wyclef Jean and all the ribbon-wearing stars at last weekend’s Golden Globes, both massively famous and otherwise, who care about other people, and who use their guitars, voices and Q ratings to help.
Nationally, celebs are banding together, and every day I’m getting e-mails about local organizations raising money for Haiti, like the Seminole Hard Rock and Propaganda, Lake Worth’s favorite musical dive, which just held a benefit concert.
Pontification, at least for the moment, is for the safe, warm and fed. As long as the money’s actually going to Haiti and actually helping, let’s just save these people and worry about purity of motive later. (There had been some question about whether Wyclef’s organization was spending its money wisely, but it seems to have been worked out.)
It’s like a conversation I had a with a friend who is an ardent admirer of Abraham Lincoln about whether he was driven to sign the Emancipation Proclamation by abolitionist zeal or by a desire to save the Union — as the descendant of slaves, I don’t care why he did it. I’m just glad he did.
Klosterman is right that celebrity and charity are often uneasy bedfellows, and not just for outside observers. Did you notice how uncomfortable Clooney looked on the Globes telecast when Maggie Gyllenhaal mentioned the “Hope For Haiti” telethon he’s organizing tonight with Jean, Anderson Cooper, Sting, Bono and others? He wouldn’t look into the camera, staring away unsmiling as if he hoped to disappear into his tux until the camera finally pointed somewhere else.
Not that I know George Clooney, but it seemed to me that he was, in that moment, weighing the irony of he and his fellow celebrities focusing on philanthropy at a party celebrating their celebrity. Seriously — James Cameron asked the assembled stars to applaud themselves. So one could forgive Clooney, who’s always presented himself as a straight shooter, for being weirded out by being singled out for altruism after walking through a gauntlet of reporters really, really interested in who made his suit.
There always have been famous people who’ve used their fame to do something for others. And there also have been nonfamous people deciding that those famous people must be full of it.
I was in middle school when Band Aid and USA For Africa were formed to address the crippling famine and hunger in Africa, and remember people rolling their eyes and wondering where all this charity would be if the cameras weren’t on.
But in times of crisis, the Pollyanna in me wants to believe that almost every person, both the shiny and the ordinary, would truly choose to help someone else if they could, and that since celebrities have more money than the rest of us, that they shouldn’t be criticized for wanting to donate it.
Now, if they send out 37 press releases explaining how charitable they are, they shouldn’t get any karma points for their intentions. But that’s something we can debate after everybody’s safe.
~ leslie_streeter@pbpost.com

‘Hope for Haiti’ Telethon
When: Tonight, 8 p.m.
Networks: NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox, MTV, VH1, CMT, BET, PBS, CNN, Bravo
Online: Streamed live on YouTube, MySpace and AOL.
Hosts: Wyclef Jean, George Clooney
Performers: Bruce Springsteen, Jay-Z, Taylor Swift, Justin Timberlake, Keith Urban, Alicia Keys, Bono, The Edge, Rihanna, Coldplay, Jennifer Hudson, Mary J. Blige, Shakira, Sting, Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow, Dave Matthews, John Legend and Stevie Wonder.
Charities: Several relief organizations, including UNICEF, Oxfam America and Partners in Health.
— The Associated Press