Taylor Armstrong’s life doesn’t seem to have a lot in common with, well, almost anyone who’s not a reality show star– the couture, the mega-mansions, the private jet.

But look closer, and blond, wide-eyed Armstrong, a cast member of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and a former Boca Raton resident, tells a story that transcends class, income, and possession of bling.

“I would like for (young women) to listen to my story, and think that they are worthy on their own, before stepping into a relationship,” says the reality star and spokeswoman for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, who will signing copies of her memoir Hiding From Reality at the Barnes & Noble in Palm Beach Gardens tonight.

“It’s hard to stand up to people if you don’t see that you have enough value to say ‘Don’t treat me like that,’” says the Oklahoma native.

On the first season of RHOBH, Armstrong stood out for her pouty lips, Midwestern frankness and her over-the-top lifestyle, including a pricey birthday party for her small daughter. But just before the start of the second season, real life collided with reality TV when her estranged husband, venture capitalist Russell Armstrong, committed suicide in the midst of reported financial ruin and controversy. Taylor came forward with allegations of mistreatment from her husband and from partners in previous relationships.

Although some have questioned the allegations of the star, who on camera appeared fragile, the Taylor Armstrong on the phone is plain-spoken, strong-voiced and very clear about her history and for her reasons for writing such a personal book. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and Armstrong says she felt she needed to tell her story now.

“Having been a child of domestic violence and then experiencing it later in life, I have had friends around me who clearly do not understand how someone stays in the cycle of abuse,” she says. “It’s something I came to terms with, and it’s so, so hard when people don’t understand how that is possible. The more I talk about it, the better it is. When we don’t talk about it, that’s how the cycle starts and perpetuates itself. It’s more valuable to talk about it.”

Reality shows, of course, are a heightened, storyline-driven version of one’s life. A memoir is different - it requires complete veracity and more intimate details than an edited show where there are commercials and several other cast members to hide behind. Armstrong says that didn’t scare her.

“I think there are a lot of things about me in the book that are not glowing or complimentary to me,” she says. “But going through therapy, and going back through my childhood helped me recognize the self-esteem problems that allowed me to go from long-term relationship to long-term relationship to long-term relationship at a young age. I didn’t have enough self-worth. I started recognizing patterns and that I really missed out on growing and bonding with girlfriends because I always had to have a boyfriend to validate me.”

In the book, she describes difficulties in her marriage to Russell, to the extent that one wonders why she’d submit to the tabloid glare of reality cameras. Armstrong says that in fact, she thought those cameras might be a shelter.

“In a way I subconsciously may have felt that the camera would provide some protection, almost like it would help take my relationship somewhere good if there was someone watching,” she explains. “My husband could be really good. He was very consumed with his image, and if the whole world was watching, I thought he would be on his best behavior. I thought it would give me a way out.”

Although the experience both on and off camera was difficult, Armstrong says she has gotten validation of her decision to be so public in “letters from all over the world, and emails. I’ve gotten prayer books and gentle responses,” she says. “The other night I was out at dinner and a girl came over and said ‘Can I give you a hug? I left my boyfriend because of your book.’ Those are the moments that, no matter how much criticism I get, make it all worth it.”

Armstrong says that she’s looking forward to spending time in Palm Beach County - “I used to live in Boca Raton and Fort Lauderdale, and I come here quite a bit. The shops are really incredible, and they have some great restaurants. I need to make a visit back to Ta-boo,” she says.

She can’t talk much about the upcoming third season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but she says that she’s never regretted doing the show. “I have a really special relationship with several of the girls, and we’ve been through so much. I’ve said a million times that it’s kind of like a family, and kind of like a feud. It was important for me to return this season, because I didn’t want to have a tragedy happen and then just disappear. I wanted people to see what recovery looks like.”