This is gonna be a short one, because  the outcome is simple – Little Lacey Brown, let go because America apparently wasn’t thrilled with her version of “Ruby Tuesday.” For she did not change with every new day, and they’re not going to miss you.

I love when the theme provides you with a nifty way to sing people off the show.

I’m not all that sorry Lacey’s gone, although I thought that Andrew was gonna feel the fierce bump of the boot first. If he doesn’t get better, he’ll be following soon enough. I will note that I loved Simon’s trying to get serious with Seacrest about the weird uncomfortable moment between them Tuesday night when Seacrest got in Simon’s face about his criticism of Big Mike. Simon was totally right – it was uncalled for, crossed the line between host and judge, made the poor kid uncomfortable, and just ate up all the air time.

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It was Rolling Stones night, but for some reason I couldn’t get Barry Manilow’s “Ready To Take A Chance Again” out of my head – “It’s all very nice, but not very good.”

Even though Kara kept referring to the Stones in the past tense, like they were dead people from olde Vaudeville times, Mick and the boys are still incredibly energetic performers, even with the health problems and addictions and shenanigans that should have killed them 40 years ago (and, perhaps, did – you can still not convince me that Keith Richards isn’t pulled together by fairie dust, bionics, and the engineers that do the figures at the Hall of Presidents at Disney).

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“American Idol” slashes its way through poor singing children, clearing the forrest of so much contestant brush on its way to the Top 12. And in that slashing, sadly, a few worthy souls that got cut when shakier folk hang around.

Yeah, Katie, Paige and Aaron. Those shaky folks are you.

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Before we begin, let me get this off my chest – am I the only one who’s bugged by the way “American Idol” insists on referring to the contestants as “boys” and “girls” when so many of them are not only technically adults, but parents? It’s weird and sort of condescending.

Lee Dewyze, “Fireflies” : I love the roughness of his voice. I just close my eyes and imagine him in a coffee house rocking out. It’s so authentic and heartfelt and beautiful. Love this guy. He’s like a scruffier Kris Allen, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. Glad the judges mostly seem to get it, although Simon had the most interesting comment, that he’s better than the version of the song. And that’s really good criticism.

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Well, I've been afraid of singing 'cause I built that note around ewww...

Back before the season started. “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson told reporters that he had been pleasantly surprised that more of the singers auditioning last summer hadn’t been a retread of last season’s finalists Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. I guess he thought that meant that more people were willing to do their own thing rather than follow a trend. But after seeing most of last night’s top 12 girls, I think he might have only been talking about the guys, since the ladies seemed strongly on the Lily Allen/Duffy/Adele/Corinne Bailey Rae train.

That’s not a bad train to be on, considering that all of those are talented, quirky, inventive people. But it doesn’t matter how inventive the mold is – it’s still a mold. Because of some DVR issues, I missed the first three and a half singers, but have caught snippets of them on the Internet. I don’t think I got enough to completely  judge Paige Miles (although her snippet of “All Right Now” was not good), Ashley Rodriguez, and Janell Wheeler. I caught a bit of Lilly Scott, and she was pretty good – I really like her quirkiness, and think she knows who she is enough to not get caught in that confusing judge’s vortex (”Be who you are! Now be someone else! Wait! Why aren’t you being who you are?)

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Technically, this telephone press conference with Simon Cowell is a preview of the ninth season of “American Idol,” whose first live performances Tuesday start the season in earnest. But instead of focusing on beginnings, the acerbic Brit finds himself fielding questions about endings – specifically the end of Cowell’s tenure as the show’s go-to, no-nonsense judge of record.

“I want to go out on a high,” Cowell says. “This is my last season, and I want to be successful. We will do everything we can to make it happen.”

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Welcome to "American Idol"! Have a seat in our comfy chair!

Ah, “American Idol”’s infamous “This room gets through, this room doesn’t go through” day, followed quickly by the Chair Of Instant Death. It’s like a gladiator talent show – brutal to watch, but hard to turn away from.

Are we not entertained? We don’t want to admit it, but…yeah.

I’m not gonna linger long on this, because the whole point of this torture is the names. And last night, we got seven of them, one of whom, we hear, eventually gets bounced. But here they are:

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With Valentine’s Day this weekend, it’s time for flowers. Chocolates. And romance.

But don’t forget the romantic music.

The natural pick is the classic My Funny Valentine, written by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart for the 1936 Broadway show, Babes In Arms. According to Wikipedia, it’s been recorded more than 1,000 times by 600 artists.

Which is the best version? We surfed through YouTube and picked a half-dozen Valentine’s for your musical bouquet: Read the full story

Oh, Group Night. Almost always a train wreck. Good times.

I imagine this would be terrifying, putting your life in the hands of strangers who need to gel with you, bnt also want to outshine you. You have to find a balance, and with no sleep, stolen songs, scant rehearsal space and loud people who won’t pipe down, I can’t imagine how you can stand up, let alone get down harmony and choreography. Yikes.

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Paula – I take it all back.

Remember how everybody used to accuse the former “American Idol” judge (but forever your girl) of getting a little overly familiar with the male auditioners and contestants? That she flirted a little too much, and in some cases picked her tiny self up and flung herself over her product placement Coke cup right into their very young arms?

Well, as wacky as Sister used to get, I don’t ever remember her asking a hopeful to take his shirt off. But that’s what Kara did in last night’s Denver episode, raising her inappropriateness with the Bikini Girl rivalry right into hideousness. It was supposed to be funny, when she and Posh Spice asked this kid with a blusey voice and a ponytail to take his hair down. But saying “Take your shirt off?” Sleazy. If Simon and Randy had said to some girl “Take your jacket off and let’s see the goods”….well, even if they wanted to they wouldn’t do that. Harrassment knows no gender, y’all. I…well…it was sorta gross.

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