Terrifying Hitchcock film or Russell's alliance? You be the judge!

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

You have to hand it to those “Survivor” producers. They can make anything sound life-or-death melodramatic, like the duel to return to the game from “Redemption Island” requires sharp sticks, poisoned darts and a flaming lake of fire. Or a day with Coach in your ear talking about that duel he had once with the pygmies who wanted to eat his feet. Either option…frightening.

To review: Francesca is living in isolation on Redemption Island. New Fabio got blindsided and was sent to join her instead of Phillip, who’s nutty, or Kristina, who was led to believe that she was going home and played her Idol but got played by Rob. Ha ha ha.

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Don't give this man an immunity idol, morons....wait, you already did? Oh, for the love of Pete!

Wow. Was that ever dumb.

In the great tradition of playing blindfolded darts for cash, or charging into a battle thinking you know everything about your enemy’s strategy because you saw him at the gym once, the Hero tribe on “Survivor: Scooby Doos vs Really Rottens” concocted a strategy on last night’s episode that I’ll bet they’re looking at now going – “Well, maybe that was the wrong move.”

Here’s what happened – the Heroes, who basically see the Villains at challenges but have no idea of the inner workings of the other camp, looked at Russell surrounded by a bunch of women and decided that he must be caught in the middle of a Girl’s Alliance. They had no evidence of this, other than that the women in that bunch are treacherous. But based solely on that, they figured that Russell must be some helpless little dumpling who was probabably next to go. So J.T., who had been busted finding a hidden immunity idol he wasn’t supposed to be looking for, came up with a plan: Why not give Russell, that poor guy (snerk) trapped with those evil ladies, the immunity Idol and get him to try to vote out Parvati?

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Aww, yeah!

For the third week in a row, “Survivor” remembers its origins as a twisty, crafty stunner where anything can happen if greed, strategy and gobsmacked luck win out. Laura, the queen bee of the former Galu tribe and the head mean girl in Shambo’s head, took a powder in the most delicious blindside, which was made all the more spicy by Laura’s arrogant denial that it could ever happen.

And to her I say: Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha, neh neh neh, goodbye!

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