SPOILERS. SPOILERS OF THE RESULT OF SOME RIDICULOUS VOTING.

Really?

Andrew Garcia is a better singer than Michael Lynche?

Tim Jonas Efron Urban is a better singer than Michael Lynche?

AARON KELLY? Great unholy harpies, that’s wrong.

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Before we begin, let me get this off my chest – am I the only one who’s bugged by the way “American Idol” insists on referring to the contestants as “boys” and “girls” when so many of them are not only technically adults, but parents? It’s weird and sort of condescending.

Lee Dewyze, “Fireflies” : I love the roughness of his voice. I just close my eyes and imagine him in a coffee house rocking out. It’s so authentic and heartfelt and beautiful. Love this guy. He’s like a scruffier Kris Allen, and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. Glad the judges mostly seem to get it, although Simon had the most interesting comment, that he’s better than the version of the song. And that’s really good criticism.

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Welcome to "American Idol"! Have a seat in our comfy chair!

Ah, “American Idol”‘s infamous “This room gets through, this room doesn’t go through” day, followed quickly by the Chair Of Instant Death. It’s like a gladiator talent show – brutal to watch, but hard to turn away from.

Are we not entertained? We don’t want to admit it, but…yeah.

I’m not gonna linger long on this, because the whole point of this torture is the names. And last night, we got seven of them, one of whom, we hear, eventually gets bounced. But here they are:

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