James Durbin, Brett Lowenstern and Clint Jun Gamboa performs in front of the judges on 'Idol'.

And I’ll be referring to them as “guys” and not as “boys,” like the show does sometimes, because most of them are out of their teens, and there’s something odd and cloying about that. OK with you?

Enough about negativity! We’re here to pick the five male singers that will go through into the Top Ten, thus being eligible for the annual “American Idols Live” summer tour and also for the crowded space in your brain. Unless you really, really love them, it’s hard to remember the names of 24 kids every year. Let’s see who’s destined to be a star or semi-star, and who’s destined to be “Who?”

First things first – how will JLo and Steven Tyler play live? Will they be able to be critical? How will Randy do as the anchor and not the judge you fast-forward through (although that could happen again, too)? How fast will those censors be on the Bleeper? And does their insurance cover the finger cramps that may ensue from having to work that much? (The “American Idol” self-censoring face mask was a cute touch). Read the full story

Well, I've been afraid of singing 'cause I built that note around ewww...

Back before the season started. “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson told reporters that he had been pleasantly surprised that more of the singers auditioning last summer hadn’t been a retread of last season’s finalists Adam Lambert and Kris Allen. I guess he thought that meant that more people were willing to do their own thing rather than follow a trend. But after seeing most of last night’s top 12 girls, I think he might have only been talking about the guys, since the ladies seemed strongly on the Lily Allen/Duffy/Adele/Corinne Bailey Rae train.

That’s not a bad train to be on, considering that all of those are talented, quirky, inventive people. But it doesn’t matter how inventive the mold is – it’s still a mold. Because of some DVR issues, I missed the first three and a half singers, but have caught snippets of them on the Internet. I don’t think I got enough to completely  judge Paige Miles (although her snippet of “All Right Now” was not good), Ashley Rodriguez, and Janell Wheeler. I caught a bit of Lilly Scott, and she was pretty good – I really like her quirkiness, and think she knows who she is enough to not get caught in that confusing judge’s vortex (“Be who you are! Now be someone else! Wait! Why aren’t you being who you are?)

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Welcome to "American Idol"! Have a seat in our comfy chair!

Ah, “American Idol”‘s infamous “This room gets through, this room doesn’t go through” day, followed quickly by the Chair Of Instant Death. It’s like a gladiator talent show – brutal to watch, but hard to turn away from.

Are we not entertained? We don’t want to admit it, but…yeah.

I’m not gonna linger long on this, because the whole point of this torture is the names. And last night, we got seven of them, one of whom, we hear, eventually gets bounced. But here they are:

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