We’ll spare you the transcript of our two-hour online catty-chat. And, we’ll leave the detailed recaps to TWoP. We’ll just bring you the highlights. And low lights, for that matter.

Michelle: Still, I would like to share this micro-recap, if you will, of the first Miami contestant, Tony. My notes say it all:

Footloose?!? Fell down. Untied shoes. Tony Style! Tyce: “Toilets…Baaaaaaaaad.” Pretending to be hurt to escape ridicule. Banana. Good-bye.

Things did improve, starting with Priscilla, the very next dancer, but overall Miami didn’t deliver the heat like I expected.

Gail: Agreed. Lackluster. There’s a reason why they haven’t been to Miami in 4 years. It’s like the producers plucked people off the beach to audition, “Hey, can I interest you in some dancing? A mojito for your time and trouble.” Nobody seemed overly surprised when rejected and Tyce looked beyond annoyed.

Lil C, a guest judge. We love a man with a big…vocab!

Michelle: Memphis didn’t send as many dancers to Las Vegas, but I found those dancers more compelling. Plus, I heart Lil C. He’ll beat you in a krump battle and THEN make you feel like a simpleton with that giant vocabulary of his.

Gail: Memphis gave a crap. Dancers were prepared to audition, even introducing us to a style I’d never seen before (mentioned below in FAVES section). There is no other like Lil C . Krump aggressiveness mixed with the gentle soul of a poet…so BUCK!

Here now, our collective raves, faves and oh-nos…and what you’re really thirsting for: the drinking game results!

RAVES

• “Sha-wham!”
• Geo Smith‘s peacock feather necklace.
• Sister v. sister drama. Caitlyn, the gymnast-turned-dancer who recovered from hip reconstruction and captivated Lil C in Memphis, joins her sister Megan, who made it through to Vegas from Miami. They will be competing against twins Lauren and Lydia from the Memphis auditions.
• The Guide to a Good Audition montage, which was a clever way to show us the most D’OH!-inspiring falls, goofs and judge comments.
• There’s a Texaco, New Mexico!

FAVES

• Erik “Silky” Moore, who tap danced to ‘Thriller’ and threw in a caterpillar move.
• Paris Torres, who danced to a quirky-cool remake of Toxic. Also, cool tutu. (I would also like to wake up with her abs. – M.)
• Talia Rickards. Not the strongest technically, but she may have been the most “fiery” dancer we saw from Miami.
• Marico Flake, the cop who schooled us on Memphis Jookin.
• Evan Kasprzak, the suspender-wearing musical jazz dancer.

OH NO’S

The Tie-Dyed Shin Guard Twins.
Gail: Having your “own style” is never a good sign.
Michelle: And…learning ballet by reading books, you say? I would urge you to rethink that strategy.

Blaming it on outside forces.
Michelle: Sorry, Wislande Letang (Miami), but your rejection had nothing to do with “the pressure.”
Gail: Mmmm…and poor Dustin Dorough (Memphis), 2nd cousin of a Backstreet Boy, had to cut out his “power moves” from his routine because of the flu.

“Electric” Chris Carrozza
Michelle: Another victim of his “own style,” which involves breakdancing, popping, locking, cheerleading…and jumping around like a girl at a rave.
Gail: Where are my glow sticks?

Twitching
Michelle: Anna is obviously talented, cute, well trained…but she’s the kind of contemporary dancer who annoys me. Very twitchy. I also didn’t get the baggy plaid shirt. And for the love of Pete, THREE floor rolls?!?
Gail: Oh, you didn’t like the interpretive dance rendition of the The Exorcist? Yeah, I knew you were looking at the empty end of a wine bottle after she was done.

Whoopee cushions.
Michelle: Did we have to end on this note? Just…no. Great tapper though.
Gail: I wanna punch him.

SUMMING IT UP BY THE NUMBERS
Sets of twins who auditioned: 2
Sets of twins who made it through: 1
Sets of sisters who made it through: 2
Tap dancers: 3
Total to Vegas from Miami: 32
Total to Vegas from Memphis: 23

DRINKING GAME RESULTS
Floor rolls: 7
“I’m an instructor” claims: 0

Michelle wins! (If you can call being annoyed 7 times a victory, that is.)

Tonight: Seattle and L.A. Check back in a bit for our Miami/Memphis quote of the night poll and new drinking game tips!