Oh, dear. Nothing like an hour of television that for most of the time makes you feel nothing, then leaves you with that “What? HUH?” feeling right before it’s over. It’s like a bad date.

SYTYCD: Top 16 dancers.

“Fashion Cat!” critique
Simple, clean white pantsuit with satin trim. Unfussy, clean hair. It was…nice.

But whereas last night’s ruffle-mania was a bit too much, this outfit was, as the judges might say about a dance solo, too safe. Why the extremes? Balance, Cat, balance!

Group performance
We tried to take that oft-odd, but usually rewarding Mia Michaels journey, but it was just so…distracting! Why Maori faces with pantsuits? Why all the blinding lights? What exactly is the message here? It’s hard to enjoy something that takes that much brain power.

(I wanted to bop her with a poi ball. And I know how to do it, too. -M.)

Dance spotlight
We have mad respect for this particular type of Indian cultural dance, called Kathak, and for Amrapali Ambegaokar, who was a principal dancer in Cirque du Soleil’s Dralion (saw her in Miami…stunning) and competed on Superstars of Dance.

However, if we didn’t already know about her we might’ve been bored. She’s gorgeous, the clothing was beautiful, and it was a display of serious skill and talent, but it somehow failed to excite. We know that the point is to make music with the feet, like tap dancing; and we’re impressed, but somehow still underwhelmed. So much of it was just her in dancing one place, rather than twirling or using more of the stage.

The verdict: Still, love her. Hope the rest of the audience got it.

(Also, she had a bit part in an Alias episode, which always earns you points in my book. And speaking of Alias and dancing, am I the only one who wants to see Jennifer Garner on Dancing With the Stars? Anyone? Bueller? -M.)

Guest performance
Kristinia DeBarge: Obviously lip-synching. Us: Yawning. And eye-rolling. Where’s Lil C? We need synonyms for “lame.”

(Though if I had legs like that, that’d be my summer outfit. – G.)

Probably the most interesting thing about Kristinia is that she is the daughter of James DeBarge, former lead singer of the group Debarge and ex-husband of Janet Jackson. If the rumors are true,  Kristinia is the younger half-sister to Miss Janet’s secret child with daddy James.

No quotes, few drinks
Elimination episodes are a bit solemn, so spicy quotes can be hard to come by. The dictionary montage about Lil C reminded us of even more gems from the night before. But, not enough fodder for another poll.

As for our swigging game, you had three floor rolls in the solos. And, we can throw in another sip for whatever serious fan/wind machine/turbo jet was going during Kristinia Debarge’s “singing.” But that’s it. No one cried!?

Kudos to them for taking it well. I suppose we needed to dry out anyway.

OK, to the serious stuff…

Eliminations
We correctly predicted Caitlin and Jason and Ashley and Kupono to be in the bottom. But… Kayla and Max?!?

Host Cat Deeley announces the eliminated contestants Max and Ashley.

Well, you knew Kayla wasn’t going anywhere. She’s on the hot tamale train, and even if she fell on her face while dancing for her life, she probably had the best shot of staying compared to the other two ladies. So she stays, and we’re glad about that.

They waste no time telling Jason they like him and he’s safe. And we’re ok with that too.

But the decision to send Ashley packing, while keeping Kupono (and sending home Max, who looked genuinely hurt) was frustrating, and here’s why. If you look at just the solos (which, in the end, apparently they were), then, yes, you can argue that Ashley’s and Max’s were the weakest.

However, Caitlin did not perform well in her hip hop routine, whereas Ashley did; and Kupono struggled, while Max got compliments for doing well outside his genre. Also, they chided Ashley for not having enough substance in her solo. So why keep Kupono, who did little more than jerk himself around? His solo didn’t have any more “substance” than hers, in our opinion, and she outperformed him in their routine the other night to boot.

Plus, they recognize that Max can only do so much in a solo given his ballroom specialty. So did he do so much worse than Asuka did last week in her ballroom solo? All they can do is kick around, so somebody tell us what we’re missing here.

We like Kupono, but think we it sucks that for the second week in a row, a girl who did very well at hip hop goes home, having been brought down by a weak guy. Booo!

Next week, Kupono and Kayla dance as a new couple.

Boy, you better bring it, because, as Gail puts it, Kayla is a dance BEAST. (Also, Kupono, more dancey, less talky. -G.)

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