We’re down to 14 dancers. That’s seven couples. Will seven be a lucky number tonight?

Only if you like aliens and chains! Or classical ballet (which we do).

Shall we recap?

Love it, Cat, but it's been done.

Fashion Cat! critique

She looks sweet and spunky in a bright pink strapless dress, black spiked belt and coordinating sandals. Does this mean tonight’s outfit will be bad? She has a good one day, bad the next pattern…

Gail is quick to point out the similarity to an SJP getup. Who do you think wore it better?

She’s baaaaaaaaack…

For the first time since the Las Vegas rounds, Mia Michaels is our guest judge, and everyone immediately wants to know if she’s changed her mind about Brandon. (You’ll recall she was hella-harsh.) She eats a little crow and says her opinion has changed for the better.

We’re especially glad she’s back, because it always means great quotes (poll below!).

The dances

Brandon and Janette are up first with Cha Cha choreo’d by Jean Marc Generaux. They are WORK. ING. IT. for the second week in a row, with great technique and tons of sass. Mary puts them on the hot tamale train. Mia calls Brandon amazing (teachers are hardest on those with the most potential and talent, she reveals), and he cries tears of joy and relief.

Kupono and Kayla get Sonya Tayeh for a dark, vampire-inspired Contemporary. From Twilight to True Blood, vampires are in, and everything from the moves to the costumes to the makeup is well done. The jeté landing down onto the hip is painfully cool. Kayla may need some chiropractic treatments after all those neck jerks. Kupono in particular impresses the judges. We’re also impressed at how well he wears guyliner. Mary keeps them on the hot tamale train.

Evan and Randi meet an Amazon woman named Joey Dowling who bullies them through a Broadway routine. It’s hard to tell exactly what characters they’re playing; is she a flapper, or a cocktail waitress fighting for a better tip? And what’s with all the “why I oughta” punching moves? It leaves us and the judges underwhelmed. Mia says that they should have danced bigger, and that Randi danced “heavy,” but is too strong for that.

Caitlin, as an alien, tries to "impregnate" Jason. Yuck!

Jason and Caitlin go galactic with Brian Friedman. She’s an alien seeking to impregnate the last man on Earth. And can we just say:

1. We’re a little tired of J&C anyway.

2. What in the name of Uranus is B-Fried smoking?

3. It might’ve been better performed by a different couple.

4. Earth to Wardrobe…what was that foil-embellished “dancing condom”, as Nigel called Caitlin’s getup? Hideous! She had HORNS, for Pluto’s sake.

Anyway…enough with the inter-planetary putrescence. Mia thinks they didn’t commit enough (again, see quote poll below. God love her.)

Jeanine and Phillip are with NappyTabs (apparently not just their Twitter identity, but also an official nickname) for Hip Hop with one heckuva prop: a several-feet-long chain between their ankles. One wrong move, and someone slips, falls or worse. Phillip is great, as expected; Jeanine keeps up very well. Mia coins a new term, “chainography” (awesome), and says she found the chain a little distracting and “sloppy”. Positive reviews overall.

Great moment: Jeanine talks about how they spent four hours brainstorming all the possible things that could go wrong. “We have chains all over the place in our apartment,” she says innocently, then gets a little embarrassed at the WHOAAAAA! reaction from the audience. Everyone has a good larf.

Ade and Melissa bring us the show’s first Pas de Deux, playing Romeo and Juliet in a piece by Thordal Christensen. This is obviously meant to let Melissa shine, and she does. Ade shows strength and grace while successfully executing multiple lifts, though Nigel says his feet could have been better. Mia channels Lil C and gives us another new word, pronouncing gorgeous “gor-JWAHHH,” and adds that she loves seeing an interracial Romeo and Juliet.

Vitolio and Karla form a new couple this week, and they get the Quickstep. We are reminded that this dance is the “kiss of death.” The prop-tastic routine from Jean Marc involves a podium, velvet rope, paper, cane, a presto-change-o dress (impressive) and fast feet, as you’d expect. They are a bit stiff doing the Charleston. Gail thinks Karla looks scared to death.

Special announcement: Dizzy Feet Foundation

Nigel and several SYTYCD judges and dance world notables -– including Debbie Allen, Adam Shankman and Carrie Ann Inaba — announce the formation of this organization devoted to providing scholarships for talented, underprivileged dancers.

We also learn that Katie Holmes is involved. Nigel confirms the rumors that her Judy Garland tribute performance will air on July 23 during SYTYCD’s 100th episode, and that Mrs. Couch Hopper has donated her entire guest appearance fee to the foundation.

Here’s the video from Fox.com:

Bottom three predictions

Evan and Randi, Jason and Caitlin, Vitolio and Karla. None of these routines were bad. Just “meh” compared to the likes of Brandon and Janette or Phillip and Jeanine. If they are in fact in the bottom three couples, Jason and Caitlin have to go.

Drinking game tally

You’ll notice we updated a few things in the tally sheet we posted yesterday (apparently “amazing” is the new “sick”), spiced up the scoring a bit and narrowed down the floor rolls so that you have a shot at remaining upright by the end of the show. Though at this rate, the props are gonna get you.

Floor rolls: 5

Props: 11 (!)

Crying: 1

Hot Tamale Train: 2

“Amazing”: 7.5 (Mia once stopped herself mid-word)

“Chemistry”: 3

New choreographer: 2

Quote of the night poll!

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