The woman on the left is, not surprisingly, a fabulous dancer. But I still love the other one better.

Still, I wanna hug her.

The “Dancing With The Stars” judges, whose overall lowball scoring so far this season is troublesome, don’t know what to make of tall, spacy Macy Gray. She can’t exactly dance. She’s sorta swaying rhythmically, with an endearing look of determination, confusion and “Gee, this is fun.”

They’ve told her she was childlike, which I found sort of condescending, honestly, because they sort of complimented her and then slapped her around, score-wise. She may have said the “F-word,” but since it’s hard to understand her I couldn’t be sure.

I have a feeling that on tonight’s show, both Macy, the celebrity who I have most often been mistaken for, and oddly charming booty shaker Tom DeLay, are going to do their Donna Summer-esque “Last Dance,” because their scores are awful. But both were weirdly fun to watch, because DeLay seemed to be truly enjoying himself, and because a woman who once wore a dress advertising the release date of her new album is always gonna be fun. She’s got that helium voice, those eyes that suggest she’s been a friend of the herb since elementary school, and this sweet enthusiasm that makes you want to love her. It doesn’t make her dance well, but love her, yes.

You know who else I love: Kelly Osbourne! And this is significant, since I’ve never been a fan – her music was unimpressive, as was her bratty attitude in interviews where she’d make fun of other famous people and I’d  be like “You’re famous for being somebody’s daughter. You ought to zip it.”

But that brat seems to have grown up into a gorgeous, gracious, smiling young woman who glided through her waltz effortlessly and joyously. This could be the biggest makeover since the woodland creatures overhauled Cinderella. That’s the  kind of shocker I watch this show for. It’s no big surprise that Mya, who was in the film version of “Chicago,” knows how to dance. But little Kelly? Shocking shockeroo. For real. And it was touching watching Ozzy and Sharon be all proud and weeping.

Is it a surprise that Macy Gray can’t dance well? Not really. But is it surprising how protective I feel of her and how sad I think I’ll be when she goes? Yep.

At least her farewell speech will be fun.