It took almost a whole hour, but Fabio Viviani, everybody’s favorite charming Italian from “Top Chef,” said something in last night’s “Top Chef Reunion Dinner Special” that should be made into a T-shirt for anyone who ever enters a reality show contest…a reality show anything, actually.

“Nobody twist your arm to be here,” he said in his trademark sweetly mangled English, to a table-full of some off his fellow former cheftestants from various seasons of the Bravo show. “Next time they ask you to do something, you say no.”

That bit of wisdom was targeted specifically at Marcel, the highly unpleasant Season 2 cheftestant, who’d spent the whole special verbally snapping at people and acting like he didn’t want to be there. He probably didn’t. But, as Fabio pointed out, this is a TV show that Macel and the others were no doubt paid well to come on and promote themselves, and if he wasn’t going to sit and answer some questions without being a tool, then he could go and give his check back. I

I get paid to interview famous people, and have encountered one or two people with similar attitudes. And if you don’t want to answer certain questions, that’s your business. But we’re both doing a job – you have something to sell, I’m helping you sell it. Don’t be an unprovoked jerk and act like I broke into your house with a camera.

Of course, the reason Bravo does these reunions is to stir up conflict an ill will and general buzziness, so having Fabio, who everyone seems to love, as a host is brilliant. He’s been where the other cheftestants have been, and he knows how to ask a question that speaks to that perspective. He also – and I love this about him – doesn’t put up with a lot of mess. And that’s so much fun to watch, so much more than the fake drama the show tried to manufacture.

The featured alumni were

Tiffany and Harold, Season 1

Ilan and Marcel, Season 1

Casey, Hung and Dale, Season 3

Lisa and Richard, Season 4

Stefan and Carla, Season 5

Stefan and Carla are old friends of Fabio, having been featured on his season, and are basically delightful. Carla is my favorite Top Chef player of all time, because she had so much joy in her and in her cooking. The show wants you to focus on the time in the finals where her joy was shattered like a broken cookie because she did a dish suggested by her sous chef, Season 3′s Casey.

And look! Here’s Casey now!

That rivalry turns out to be a bust, even though things got all riled up on the Internet with fans blaming Casey for sabotaging Carla. It’s Carla’s fault for listening to her, which she recognized last night, although I still think Casey should have kept her mouth shut and let Carla do whatever she wanted.

A rivalry that was not manufactured? Marcel and…everyone. As Fabio said, he seemed like he wanted to fight everyone. Marcel recollects that everyone was jealous of him because he was so young and talented. I think that had something to do with it, but he didn’t help by being a cocky, nasty punk.

There was an unforgivable moment where he ws- and let’s be clear on this – assaulted by the other cheftestants in a drunken prank where they pounced on him while he was sleeping, held him down and intended to shave his head. It is never OK to attack someone like that – ever. No matter what. Cliff, the chef who held him down and was booted in the aftermath, would’ve been arrested if this had happened in the real world. But as Fabio pointed out, when Marcel pretty much spat venom at him for bringing it up, it’s a TV show. That he was paid to do. And that topic was gonna come up. And if he didn’t want to address it, he could have said “I really hate talking about it.”

Or just not showed up.

Other observations:

— Tiffani, the much-embattled Season 1 runner-up, has grown up into a mature chef. She talked about how watching the tapes of her being horrible were a wake-up call, and a reminder of how immature she was. Good for her.

— Richard is still a sweetheart, as is Dale. I love that Dale.

— I have a crush on Stefan

— Those cheftestants sure do drink a lot in the stew room.

— Hung doesn’t seem to be as bad as he was on the show.

— Marcel is still, at least on TV, an unpleasant guy.

I missed the regular “Top Chef Las Vegas” and can’t wait for it to come back next week. But I did enjoy seeing how some of the favorites – and these were true favorites and not just people they could get that no one ever heard of – have fared since the show. And Fabio gave me something to say the next time some pompous celebrity acts like I broke into their car.