It’s not fair.

You’ve heard it before — men improve with age, while women just age.

Lines make a male face sexy and authoritative, but make a woman look craggy.

And while some older guys can go casual and look sexy, a women over 30 with just one hair too many out of place looks like a bag lady. We’ve accepted this, but we’re jealous.

We’re also still attracted to these men, which makes us even madder.

Of course, we know that beneath the fetching laugh lines and the sexy silver streaks often lurks a midlife crisis. It’s just frustrating that Hollywood rarely bothers to showcase the depressing part of male aging in its wrinkly, gassy glory, unless the man is supposed to be the pathetic jokey sidekick of the hot older guy.

TV’s filled with the ungraceful side effects of being an older woman, from Cougar Town to The New Adventures of Old Christine, but most of the men over 45 still get to be action figures (NCIS’ Mark Harmon or CSI: New York’s Gary Sinise) or be seen as attractive even when they’re Vicodin-addicted jerks (House’s Hugh Laurie.)

See? Not fair. Which is why TNT’s Men of a Certain Age (which premieres at 10 p.m. Monday) is such a revelation.

Joe (Ray Romano), Owen (Andre Braugher) and Terry (Scott Bakula) are old college buddies now pushing 50, and realizing that life at the middle mark isn’t at all what they thought it would be back in their 20s. Joe’s professional golf career never panned out, and now he’s divorced, living in a hotel and trying to kick a gambling habit that’s kicking back.

Because of a new baby and never-ending home repairs, Owen’s stuck as the designated stooge at his father’s car dealership, where his doughy, insulin-dependent softness is a liability to his dad’s sleek, fast-paced image.

And even supposedly care-free actor Terry, who can still have his pick of young things, is now answering cattle calls for Lifetime movies and using his acting skills to pretend to be a potential home buyer at his co-worker’s real estate open house to help business.

As a woman, I guess I’ve been lucky because, along with the newly discovered facial lines and the need for naps, I’ve always had television shows that mirror that process and let me laugh at it as I’m running for the extra-thick MAC foundation and the Spanx.

Men, on the other hand, because mostly men run television, haven’t been as eager to be laughed at in a dramedy sense, unless they also get to be brilliant surgeons, super agents or the White House chief of staff.

The brilliant thing is that Romano, the show’s co-executive producer, cast actors, including himself, that the audience first met when they were younger and prettier, and it makes watching the characters’ struggle with aging all the more poignant because they can’t hide it from us.

Granted, Everybody Loves Raymond was never about the beefcake, but we know what the comedian looked like when he was thinner, his hair was darker, and that comfortably handsome face was line-free. Ditto Braugher, known to most as Homicide: Life on the Street’s sharp, in command, brilliantly brittle Detective Frank Pembleton, who used his angled features as an interrogation tactic, and Bakula, Quantum Leap’s ruggedly handsome time-traveling scientist.

There’s a great scene when Terry is nearly hit by an SUV as he and his buddies take a walk. Frustrated, he tries catching up with the guy and banging on his window to express his outrage, but the driver ignores him. Quickly, Joe gets the bright idea to take a picture of the offender’s license plate with his camera phone so that they can track him down. It doesn’t go as planned.

“Sorry. That’s a picture of us. I pointed the wrong way,” he says.

“Is that what I look like?” Owen says, staring at the picture. “This (jacket) is too tight! Why didn’t anybody tell me?”
There’s a fragility and a recognizable “wow” in that scene, because if these beloved television guys are getting older, then everybody is.

For instance, Quantum Leap premiered in my freshman year in college, when I was 18. This means that I’m almost 40, and that I, too, wake up with weird moles and have high school students inquire what things were like when I was, you know, young and stuff.

The thing that I think all of us approaching a milestone with a big 0 in it will get about Men of a Certain Age is this — what if you’ve never gotten to be as beautiful as you thought you were going to be, or as rich or as successful? What if somewhere in the middle of climbing that hill you suddenly got pushed down the slope to Oldville and didn’t even know it?
Of course, when the cameras start rolling, Ray Romano, Andre Braugher and Scott Bakula are still good-looking famous men of a certain age.

One day, I hope Hollywood — heck, the rest of society — will recognize women the same way.

5 FINE FELLOWS (of a certain age)

1. Scott Bakula, 55,

‘Men of a Certain Age’

Type: The seasoned side of boyish

Why he’s hot: He jumped into our hearts 20 years ago (yes, it’s true) in Quantum Leap. Now, as aging actor Terry, he’s vulnerable, regretful, and still has that cowboy body. All of those things make him finely aged catnip.

2. John Slattery, 46,

‘Mad Men’

Type: Silver fox

Why he’s hot: Prematurely gray but somehow still boyishly handsome, we’ve had a thing for Slattery since we first saw him way back in the early ’90s in ABC’s criminally under-watched Homefront. But as philandering 1960s ad exec Roger Sterling, he’s a maddening combination of arrogance, old boy’s network entitlement, midlife crisis and often shocking genuine affection. We wouldn’t want to be married to Roger. But when he shoots that slyly dimpled smile, we’re shaky-kneed toast.

3. Jeff Goldblum, 57,

‘Law and Order:

Criminal Intent’

Type: Nerdy hot

Why he’s hot: Because, like the best of TV crime fighters such as Columbo and fellow CI-meister Bobby Goren (Vincent D’Onofrio), his Zach Nichols doesn’t blend in — he’s 6-feet-4, impeccably dressed and not a little weird. Goldblum uses every bit of that lankiness and his character’s confident genius to confound the guilty — and the audience. And it doesn’t hurt that Zach’s background hints of a secret pain. Secret pain is always hot.

4. Mark Harmon, 58,

‘NCIS’

Type: Gruff but passionate authority figure

Why he’s hot: Probably TV’s best current example of how to get better with age, Harmon has taken his ’80s prettiness and turned it into a masterwork of crusty, crinkly-eyed manliness. His Special Agent Jethro Gibbs is a man of few words but many disapproving looks when his team does something stupid. He may be pushing 60, but the former Marine sniper is still out there running and shooting and defending his country and his team, because he loves them even when they’re stupid. He doesn’t say it. But that somehow makes him more appealing. Sir, yes, sir!

5. James Pickens Jr., 55, ‘Grey’s Anatomy’

Type: Flawed but brilliant chief

Why he’s hot: Dr. Richard Webber is a mess. He’s the chief of surgery at struggling Seattle Grace, running roughshod over a gaggle of bickering, flirting, cut-throat competitive doctors. His pet protégé is also the daughter of the doctor he had an affair with years ago (whoops!). His wife doesn’t trust him. He’s also a fall-down drunk who’s dived off the wagon and is swimming in vodka nightly. But he’s got finely groomed silver facial hair, a gravely voice that’s disturbingly sexy, and the requisite Tortured Eyes of Pain.

Plus: Bonus guys!

6) Chris Noth (55) “The Good Wife”

Type: Sly dog and rascally rabbit

Why he’s hot: He’s Mr. Big, y’all! He’s Det. Mike Logan! He’s…a cheating cheater who got caught with his hand in the hooker jar. What’s more, his former Cook County Attorney General Peter Florrick expects his humiliated wife Alicia (Juliana Margulies) to stand by him while he’s in jail. That takes a lot of gall and a heap of arrogance, but in his approximately five or so minutes of screen time every episode, Noth flashes enough self-aware charm to show why Peter’s been able to smile his way to success, and why he fully expects to keep doing that. Also, he has pretty hair.

7) Rob Morrow (47) “NUMB3RS”

Type: Strong, silent and brooding

Why he’s hot: FBI agent Don Epps wanted to be a baseball player, and has lived in the shadow of his genius math professor younger brother. But he shows his own kind of genius in his ability to lead a team and inspire loyalty. And that soft, hesitant voice that he used to nebbishy effect on “Northern Exposure” is now thoughtful, soulful and wise. Also, Epps is one of the only major TV characters in a long time who’s delved into a serious religious exploration – in his case, Judaism – that was treated respectfully and not jokey. And somehow, that exploration makes him even sexier. Is that wrong?

8) Tom Colicchio (47) “Top Chef”

Type: Old pro

Why he’s hot: First of all, we love a man who can cook. And if that man has the ice blue eyes of a culinarily inclined timber wolf, the soft-spoken thoughtfulness of a man who takes his craft seriously, and the chops to back it up, we’re hooked. We also like that warm smile he gets when he’s proud of the cheftestants, and that exasperated scowl when they disappoint him. He’s committed, that one.

9) David Rasche (65) “Ugly Betty”

Type: Playful playboy

Why he’s hot: We never noticed it back in the ’80s on the hilarious cop show spoof “Sledge Hammer!,” but Rasche has a twinkly handsomeness under his oversized goofiness that he’s burnished to comic perfection as “Ugly Betty”‘s Cal Hartley, a confident gazillionaire publisher and new boss of Meade Publishing. He’s a little impressed with himself, and a little distant from his son, but he’s got a master of the universe confidence that’s infectious.

10) Tim Gunn (56), “Project Runway”

Type: Sharp-dressed man

Why he’s hot: Because he’s perfect. Handsome but not cloying. Exacting but understanding. Nurturing but not clingy. Persnickety but not cruel. Kind but not a pushover (ask former finalist Kenley, who was rude to him at her own peril). Whether he’s dressing down clueless contestants or dressing up weight loss winners on “The Biggest Loser,” he’s truly excited about using his impeccable fashion sense for good. And on the finale of the otherwise lackluster latest season, he proved that one can be stylish in an apron.

11) Laurence Fishburne (48), “CSI”

Type: He’s a brainiac, brainiac, on this show!

Why he’s hot: Some “CSI” fanatics haven’t forgiven great big movie star Fishburne for not being William Peterson, whose Gilbert Grissom was the heart of the franchise. But I dig his newbie CSI, Dr. Ray Langston, because he’s a deeply intellectual man who loves learning and isn’t yet jaded enough to want to save people. And his vulnerability is nailed by the same actor who personified glowering, vicious machismo in “What’s Love Got To Do With It.” Ray couldn’t be any more different from Ike Turner. And Fishburne can pull off both effortlessly. Talent is sexy.

12) Anthony Bourdain (53), “Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations”

Type: Cheeky chef

Why he’s hot: If loving an unapologetically hard-living journeyman of world food, culture and booze is wrong, we don’t wanna be right. Ever. Even when the “Kitchen Confidential” hotshot is at his rudest, like in guest appearances on “Top Chef,” or doing vodka shots with members of a Uzbekistani wedding party, we’re charmed. Bourdain knows his stuff, and like it or not, he’s usually spot on. And even when he should dial it back, he’s got the sucker amped up to “11,” and we have to admit it works for him, because he’s a survivor, and we respect that. We also like his smile.

13) Corbin Bernsen (55) “Psych”

Type: Crusty cool

Why he’s hot: Two decades ago, Bernsen was the personification of pretty, preeny male vanity, in the form of gloriously blond lawyer himbo Arnie Becker on “L.A. Law.” Underneath those perfect suits and perfect hair lurked a mess of insecurity, like a peacock in need of therapy. As “Psych”‘s gruff former cop Henry Spencer, the hair and the suits are gone, and that prettiness has hardened into a crabby, shlubby flintiness that makes him constantly butt heads with his gleefully irresponsible fake psychic son Shawn. But when Shawn’s in danger and Henry snaps into protective mode, the years fall away and those blue eyes glow like a cowboy’s. Plus, the lines in his face somehow make him more attractive than he was when he was pretty. Not…fair.

14) Bruce Campbell (51), “Burn Notice”

Type: Snarky spy

Why he’s hot: Back when Campbell was Sam Raimi’s larger-than-life zombie fighter Ash in the “Evil Dead” movies, he was a walking cartoon character – all barrel-chested masculinity, jet-black Superman hair and that chin so sharp you could grate cheese on it. It would’ve been too much if he weren’t in on the joke. Ash was so chiseled that when you meet Sam Axe, “Burn Notice”‘s Hawaiian shirt, beer and rich lady-loving ex-spy, and realize it’s the same guy, it’s pretty shocking. Sam’s a cynic, a mooch and he informed on his best friend. He’s also crafty, resourceful and a good man to know in a gun fight. Or when you need a secret identity. Also, he’s funny.

15) Denis Leary (52), “Rescue Me”

Type: Sexy smart-alec

Why he’s hot: Tommy Gavin is a jerk. A huge jerk. A shockingly self-absorbed jerk with a filthy mouth, a penchant for dysfunctional relationships and a firehouse full of jerky, foul-mouthed friends. He’s an insanely hot mess, but then you remember that he’s a hot mess that runs into burning New York buildings and saves people, and then you want to hug him, even though you know no good can come of it. He makes fatalism seem sexy, has improbably thick, perfect hair and a sense of humor. We all know funny’s sexy. And it’s even sexier when it’s framed in nice hair.

16) Linus Roache (45), “Law and Order”

Type: Legal eagle

Why he’s hot: Here’s another one that takes rumpledness – a quality that makes a woman look like a bag lady – and makes it fetching. His assistant D.A. Mike Cutter is a take-charge guy who’s not above dirty tricks to get the job done (he freaked out a witness from a cult into believing he’d been sent from the cult to watch him), and is a little too aware of how awesome he is. But then he lets his guard down, and defends the weak and the hapless, and we get all gushy. We also like that he has a crush on his hot colleague, and the fact that she appears to be immune to his charms makes him human. And hotter.

17) Hector Elizondo (72), “Monk”

Type: Wise counsel

Why he’s hot: Here’s how handsome Elizondo is. As the patriarch of a fictional Cuban-American sugar business clan on “Cane”, he regularly appeared on screen with smoldering Jimmy Smits and held his own. Maybe it’s the deep, whispery voice, or the piercing eyes, or that bald head that subtly says “I’m so sculpted and commanding, hair cowers in my wake.” And everything that made him masterful on “Cane” makes him soothing and nurturing as Dr. Nevin Bell, the world’s most patient psychiatrist. His presence is like a glass of green tea.