Palm Beach Resident Donald Trump

Donald Trump is back with another installment of Celebrity Apprentice.

Why like the show? Basically it is an excuse to round up B-list celebrities who have over-developed egos and pit them against each other. You can’t possibly put that much ego in the room and not expect a good catfight.

Then, in walks Palm Beach resident and millionaire extraordinaire Donald Trump (the one with the LARGEST
EGO) to cut those celebrities down to size!

The women dominated the two-hour premier. As a side note, I, as the woman in my house, also dominated. My husband called it for the men within the first five minutes. I stuck with the women. When will men learn? We are usually right…

Okay, so the celebrities were split into teams of men and women. The women picked the name Athena in homage to the goddess of war. The men picked Kotu for Kings of the Universe. The name is ridiculous. I half-expected He-Man to run in with his sword and fringed Speedos.

The women picked Joan Rivers as their project manager because she was the oldest. The men picked Hershel Walker for reasons that still aren’t clear. The men broke stereotype and began the catfight immediately. The women seemed to get along until Annie Duke reared her ugly head. She may be a poker champ, but that lady has no poker face.

Andrew “Dice” Clay and Dennis Rodman immediately stood out as contestants that were going to be trouble.

The first task was to bake cupcakes and sell them. The one who made the most money won. They each got a truck as their mobile selling station, the use of a professional kitchen and guidance from the Institute of Culinary Education.

Team Athena split up into two. John Rivers took half the team to decorate the truck. The other half was in the kitchen being dictated, I mean being directed, by Annie Duke. That woman quickly grew on my nerves. I was sitting at home thankful that I was not someone that had to deal with her. The other ladies showed great restraint, and this was only the beginning of her condescending, domineering antics. They had a few problems with the cupcakes but managed to salvage a few and called the rest of the team back into the kitchen to finish the task.

Team Kotu had the whole team in the kitchen. Monster Garage TV host Jesse James (Who are we kidding, you know him as Sandra Bullock’s husband.) stepped up and handled the truck. Then he went back to baking with the rest of the guys. Andrew “Dice” Clay decided baking wasn’t his thing. Instead he would go do radio interviews at Sirius Radio to drum up traffic for the cupcake sale. Here is the thing: You can CALL IN for radio interviews. You don’t have to be there in person. No one thought to bring this up. Before he left, he took fellow slacker Dennis Rodman.

The best part was that the last person I expected to step up did! Comedian Tom Green was the only one who tried to get the two slackers to work. I expected Tom Green to be running around the kitchen with a sausage stuck in his pants making some crude joke, but no. Green called in sponsors, baked, tried to get Rodman to do his part. He was totally out of character — thankfully out of character.

Then there was another little twist. Trump calls the project manager and tells them to pick their best cupcake. They will be having a taste testing and the team with the better-tasting cupcake will get an additional $15,000.

The cupcakes are sent to Crumbs bakery and the owner has a taste. Her face remains flat when tasting Team Athena’s chocolate bomb but she raises her eyebrows when she tastes Team Kotu’s cupcake. This leads Andrew “Dice” Clay (and my husband) to conclude that the men’s team won.

However, if you have ever seen a show where they taste dishes (such as Top Chef) then you would know that the better dish always gets the least reaction in effort to not give too much away. The yucky dish always gets a reaction because the judge’s guard is down. It is like a sympathy reaction.

Again the women’s team (and this woman typing) won. (Although, I am at the mercy of my husband, a Post reporter, who edited this blog.)

In the end the women crushed the men with more than $61,000 raised versus the men’s $49,000. That didn’t even include the additional $15,000 given to the women for winning the tasting. In all $126,000 was raised for charity.

In the boardroom, Annie Duke was called out, but since they won, it really wasn’t an issue. “Dice” realized he was the lowest hanging fruit in the men’s team and tried to quit. Trump called him out, asking him straight up if he was a quitter, and “Dice” stayed. Walker then had to pick two men to go in the boardroom with him and the choice was easy: “Dice” and Rodman.

In the end, “Dice” was fired. I think Trump convinced him not to quit so he could get out a, “You’re fired!” in the first episode. How anti-climactic would that have been?

As for “Dice,” he deserved to go. The guy is a slacker and not too market savvy. He could have seriously benefited from a bit more TV time. He has his shows and concerts but the man hasn’t been mainstream since, what, the ‘80s? He could have used the publicity. Where is your PR person when you need him?

Celebrity Apprentice contestants

Here is your cast for this latest installment of Celebrity Apprentice:
Clint Black, country legend.
Andrew Dice Clay, comedian.
Annie Duke, World Series of Poker champ.
Tom Green, comedian and talk-show host.
Natalie Gulbis, professional golfer.
Scott Hamilton, Olympic figure skater.
Jesse James, TV host, restaurateur and clothing line founder
Claudia Jordan, Deal or No Deal model
Khloe Kardashian, reality star and boutique owner
Brian McKnight, singer and Broadway star.
Joan Rivers, Emmy-winning comedian and red carpet terror.
Melissa Rivers, red carpet cohost and producer
Brande Roderick, actress and production company owner.
Dennis Rodman, former NBA star.
Herschel Walker, former NFL star.
Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins, singer, former TLC member.