An injured Steve-O and his partner Lacey Schwimmer are in danger of getting the boot on Dancing with the Stars

In the NFL, they keep an injury report. This lets the other teams know which players on the opposing team are hurt and if they are likely to suit up.

The way things are going on Dancing with the Stars so far this season, the producers may want to adopt a similar report. Perhaps they should even have a 30-minute pre-dance show filling viewers in on the health of the injured participants.

Steve-O, the crazy Jackass star, was the latest star hoofer to go down after he fell on his back two hours before tonight’s show. The nasty fall on his mic pack forced Stevo-O to miss the show. And he thought those dumb Jackass stunts were dangerous.

Steve-O hopes to be back next week. Ehhhhhh, I dunno about that.

As Bob Murphy, the late, great Mets broadcaster used to say, here’s the happy recap.

Holly Madison: Poor Holly and those cursed boobs of hers. Once again they weighed her down like an anchor and limited her movement. How could I tell? Well, that a huffin’ and puffin’ Holly was about five steps behind her partner kinda clued me in. But it wasn’t just Holly’s ample cleavage. Her footwork was messy and her posture was awkward. Yeah, yeah, I know Holly was a last minute replacement, but that excuse is gonna get tired. Soon. She can either cut it or she can’t. And right now, Ms. Playboy Playmate would have a hard time cutting a bologna sandwich with a Ginsu knife.

David Allen Grier: I’m sorry, but I spend more time paying attention to David’s priceless facial expressions than I do on his dance floor moves. He’s this season’s Steve Guttenberg. I always expect David to bust out laughing. I almost lost it when David did his arched eyebrow, Sean Connery thing. When Sean does it, it looks cool. David? Not so much. Too bad ’cause David’s not that bad and has some potential.

Denise Richards: Most women I know don’t like Denise. Pick your own reason. There are soooo many to choose from. That Dancing is one big, fat popularity contest doesn’t bode well for the former Mrs. Charlie Sheen. But Denise was much better this week. Not nearly as Kim Kardashian stiff. But most women still probably won’t like her. Or vote for her.

Belinda Carlisle: Another improved performance. However, after last week’s dreadful outing, Belinda had nowhere to but up. While Belinda was a bit looser, she still suffers from Marie Osmond Disease. Translation: She’s unable to shake her hips. Nice handstand, though. Still has a long way to go.

Ty Murrary: I missed The Cowboy Robot. Ty’s more entertaining when he’s bad. I give him credit for working hard during rehearsals and turning in a solid performance. Was it better than last week? Absolutely. Was it as entertaining? No way. Bring back The Cowboy Robot!

Shawn Johnson: The judges loved Shawn’s salsa. I thought it was just eh. It looked like Shawn and Mark were dancing at two different speeds. The old-school readers in the house (or should I say on the website in the Digital Age?) will remember 45 records that were played on some contraption called a record player. While Mark was twisting and twirling at 78rpms, Shawn was moving a bit slower at 33rpms. At one point, it even appeared as if Shawn stopped dancing for a quick second to marvel at Mark’s impressive hip action. Unfortunately Shawn didn’t have a pad. She should’ve taken notes.

Steve Wozniak: Another one of the dancing wounded. Steve has a bum left foot that needs a walking cast when it’s not dancing. Fortunately for Steve, he’ll have plenty of time to heal after he’s voted off this week or next.

Chuck Wicks: Someone else suffering from Marie Osmond Disease. Chuck’s hip movement was downright comical. He let his girlfriend Julianne do all the work. Or, perhaps Julianne demanded that she do it all since she knew who she was working with. It’s not the first time, after all, Julianne got an up-close-and-personal look at Chris’ hip action, if ya get my meanin.’ And I know that ya do, smart people you all are. You know how they say you can tell how a guy operates in the bedroom by how he moves on the dance floor? I’ll just leave it at that.

Lawrence Taylor: Could it be that LT didn’t know that the quickstep is supposed to be, like, quick? Looked more like the slow-moving step to me. Maybe if LT pretends Edyta is a scrambling quarterback, it’ll force him to move just a hair — no, an Afro! — faster. I’m afraid LT is gonna go down as the worst NFL dancer ever. At least he’s not giving up (take that, Master P!) and is trying extremely hard.

Steve-O: Since Steve-O was unable to perform live, the judges had to base this week’s score on his dress rehearsal performance. Which wasn’t very good. If the Steve No. 1 isn’t the first one sent packing, Steve No. 2 will be.

Lil’ Kim: Watch out, America. This feisty dynamo is in it to win it. If The Lil’ One keeps hoofin’ the way she has the first two weeks, she’ll definitely find herself in the final four. Although I’m enjoying watching Kim’s more refined and dignified side, I’m having a tough time looking at her re-done face. Her cheekbones are sharp enough to cut diamonds. Kim, baby, squash any additional facial work. You already look like Janet Jackson’s whack-lookin’ baby sister. Keep it up and soon you’ll be lookin’ like LaToya Jackson.

Melissa Rycroft: My early pick to win it all. As Carrie Ann said, Melissa’s and Tony’s salsa was slammin’! Maks is already hatin’ on The Dumped Bachelor Woman by saying Melissa has an “unfair” advantage since she has some dance experience. So what? Hush, Maks.

Gilles Marini: The Nekkid Dude From Sex and the City smoothly pulled off that whole Superman theme quite nicely. I wasn’t crazy about the purple and green superhero costume underneath, though. Looked like something one of “The Ambiguously Gay Duo” crimefighting dudes would wear. Only a man as macho sexy as Gilles could make such a sissy costume work. Legions of women will keep Gilles on the show for a long time.