Dave (Arj Barker) and Jemaine give Bret competing advice through walkie-talkies.

“It should work. I saw it in a sitcom.”

The words should immediately be followed by an impending sense of doom.

Lovestruck Bret didn’t pay heed in his pursuit of a pet store clerk in this week’s Flight of the Conchords and as a result, well, it didn’t end well.

Bret is smitten — as he tells in a song full of cheese — but is too shy to approach and instead ends up buying 63 goldfish three at a time. So Bret enlists Jemaine as a wingman — and Jemaine’s hesitancy should’ve clued Bret in that this was a bad idea. And the bad idea becomes worse when Dave, the boys’ more libidinous friend, joins Jemaine in an attempt to help woo the fair clerk Cyrano-style.

Good way to do it — whisper to the lovestruck guy from below the balcony.

Bad way to do it — yell competing information through walkie-talkie.

Worse way to do it — have walkie-talking in plain sight with no headphone. All while wearing a kilt.

This fails.

Bret and Jemaine also watch from afar, at which Mel catches them. Instead of shaming them, Mel brings her stalker expertise to the fore and gets the goods on the fetching clerk, whom Bret learns is named Savannah.

Bret then tries again, this time asking Jemaine to fake-mug him and the object of his affection. Jemaine in turn enlists John (Lenny Venito) — a mugger who’d befriended Jemaine after mugging him in Season 1 — but John can’t go against his nature and succeeds in actually mugging Bret and Savannah.

Jemaine returns home to see Savannah after a 'freaky' night.

Unfortunately, when Jemaine returns home from the police station after he and John are arrested, Savannah recognizes Jemaine and everything unravels.

The way things usually unravel in sitcoms. And Bret should’ve known that!