Steven Seagal has a real gun and badge in A&E's 'Steven Seagal: Lawman'.
Imagine you’ve caught the business end of a bar fight somewhere in Jefferson Parish, La., and your inability to shut your yap has gotten you handcuffed and locked in the back of a police car. An officer with a preternaturally calm and familiar voice asks you to chill. You respond to his kind request by kicking out the car window.
Later, as you’re recoiling from the several uncomfortable volts of electricity that the Taser has shot through your bar-fighting carcass, you might be wishing that you’d heeded the wise counsel of that peaceful-sounding officer. You may also wonder why you can’t stop thinking about the last time you caught Hard to Kill on TBS. …
Oh, you unfortunate hooligan. You haven’t just been arrested on national TV. You’ve been arrested by Steven Seagal! And it’s completely awesome.
Well, probably not for you. But for everybody watching A&E’s new reality series Steven Seagal: Lawman (Wednesdays, 10 p.m.), it’s a half-hour of Zen-tastic, butt-kicking fun.
“I make my living in the movies,” the once-major action star voice-overs, “but for the last 20 years, I’ve also been a cop. My name is Steven Seagal. That’s right. Steven Seagal, deputy sheriff.”
He’s serious. For the last two decades, roughly since the 1989 release of Hard to Kill, the pony-tailed Akido master, whose nominal combination of Zen and butt-kicking made him a cheesy, if entertaining, pop culture phenomenon, really has been an official Louisiana lawman.
According to his voice over, Seagal came down to Louisiana in the ’80s to teach officers about martial arts weapon retention (from the pictures, this appears to mean, “the ancient art of keeping some punk from taking your gun”), and the chief was so impressed, he asked him to join the force. The show’s not real clear on how often he does this, but I would imagine that since his hit movies are … fewer and farther between, he’s got a lot more time to be “Out For Justice” for real.
And what a prophetic career move part-time law enforcement turned out to be, because the sideline that Seagal never talked about when he was a big star has provided him with a nifty subject for a reality show. You’d think it was a joke, but that same self-serious demeanor that made him fierce in his good movies (Under Siege) and silly in his bad ones (On Deadly Ground) makes him earnestly watchable as an officer whose dedication to public safety appears to be legit, even when he’s just watching other officers arrest people.
Older, huskier but still physically imposing, the 57-year-old assists in arrests, teaches his brother officers how to improve their shooting through Zen techniques, and shakes the hands of bewildered but delighted citizens surprised to see Mr. “On Deadly Ground” emerge, in uniform, from a police car.
“Where’d Mr. Seagal go?” asks one smitten lady, who’s just marveled at the size of the actor’s hands in a way that would be sort of stalky if it wasn’t so sweet. “I need to tell him bye!”
Sure, Lawman sometimes seems like a celebrity episode of Cops, or Dog The Bounty Hunter without the cussing, leather and dreadlocks. But you know how Dog the Bounty Hunter tosses people around and then calmly explains how the now-handcuffed perp wouldn’t be in trouble if he’d followed God’s plan?
Lawman is a little like that, but more dignified. The best part is that while Lawman is not a joke, it doesn’t stop Seagal from having a sense of humor about the absurdity of it all, right before he goes back demonstrating Akido-inspired restraint techniques.
“This gentleman,” he says sagely, right before Barfighty McScuffleson finds himself touched by a Taser, “is not a very Zen practitioner.”
True. But he’s performed a valuable public service for future lawbreakers in Jefferson Parish. Break the law, and for the next 20 years, relatives at family functions will go “Hey, wanna see that tape of Kenny getting busted by Steven Seagal?”
Again, it won’t be fun for you. But your folks will think it’s hilarious.
I am a former citizen of Louisiana…I was born in Shreveport and transferred to New Orleans with my job after Katrina. I had no idea you were a deputy sheriff in Jefferson Parish, I moved with Stock Building Supply from Boston to Louisiana in Marh 2006…but I was really given up for adoption in Shreveport, LA in 1964. With my family in LA…we dealt with the aftermath of Katrina and went thru Gustav…I am now in Arlington, TX, with my job…until 2/28/10..I just wanted to tell you that I commend you for your work in Jefferson Parish…it is tough down there…good job, Steven, for taking your martial arts skills to a new level…I think I would have rested better had I known you were there when I was….
Warmest regards,
Caren Wood
Mr. Segal:
Are you a part-time Deputy Sheriff in Louisiana? Although it doesn’t matter to me because I’ve been a fan of yours for a very long time. I would just like to clear this up with a co-worker.
I think you’re Great!
Regards
Barbara
I have always been a fan of yours.
Those bad streets need a guy like you.
Great job Seagal!
As a former JPSO deputy from the 1st District back in the late 70′s/early 80′s this show takes me back to the good old days. I hope he does some shows on the East Bank once in awhile. He may have, I haven’t seen them all yet, most are still saved on my DVR.
Mr. Seagal, I wrote to you about 2 weeks ago about carrying toys in the cruisers for children – you have had episodes showing raids of drug houses and frightened little children. Up north here, police and first responders carry boxes of toys for frightened children. I meant it and my offer still stands.
mr. segal you are the reason my handicap son got into martial arts 22 years ago . it save his life gave him something to belive in. he is now a grand master in teakwondo, a master in hopkido ,and love teacheing children . he has a boy 9 and a girl 7 both 1st degree black belts, and handicaped as well. you are a blessing from god.
To everyone who reads this im glad that i have given everyone a little piece of hope.
God Bless
Steven Segal
Reserve Deputy Chief Seagal, I would really like to hear from you. I worked for JPSO in 1st District Patrol from 1978 – 1982 before beginning my Federal career with US Border Patrol. If you have a spare minute contact me. You can also reach me at WILLIAM.S.BELL@dhs.gov.
TOGAKURE RYU NIN-PO TAIJUTSU KIHON quit teaching the Qui-Lo….
You know your ancestery traditions an the acceptable actions. Triad is not happy. Please I beg of you…let it go. I respect you and your position. Bu the laws are the laws. and we all most abide by them
As a former LEO, in Alabama I could not teach but so much and had to leave a great deal out, such as dim-su/dim-mak. You under stand of course
Mr.segal i was born in 1991 and have not seen all of your movies the one i have seen is under siege and it was excellent! i am still young im only 18, soon to be 19 on April 1st but i think what your doing is awesome! We need more people like you in harsher areas, were crime dosent stop. this is something i hold close to me bevcause my grandfather that passed away in 2005 was also a police officer and a huge fan of yours. thank you so much for being an awesome and patrioticeperson you are and kee[ up bustin people that dont follow the law.
ps this might sound weird but could u email me on my birthday and tell me happy birthday? it would mean moe than anyhing in the world to me. bound4death@live.com
thank you so much and have a wonderfull day
Justin lake
Good day Mr Segal, I stay in Johannesburg South Africa, I always read your website and watch all you movies and I just think you’re the most amazing and sexiest man ever. I do hope that maybe one day I’ll have the pleasure of meeting you in person. Would however love to hear from you if you’ve got the time someday.
Gog bless you
Marie
Mr. Seagal,
Don’t give up the fight in this sexual assault case and the law suit against you. I don’t believe that you could do the things that all ful women said you did. Don’t give in to her.I don’t like women like that.I am a recovering rape victum and I don’t think that you did any thing to that women, she is just out for money.I have prayed to God to help you through this time of trouble. Keep the faith and God will help you.
K<aren Vitu
you are the best dear mr seagal,i am from romania but i am living in london uk.your movie are very good and when i have heard you are also a police ai vas happy,because you use your tenaciti
thanks because you make me proud to be your fan.
i hope to read this and anser my
thanks again