Jim and Pam endure an awkward night with Michael and his date.

We all knew Michael and Helene wouldn’t last.

What was unexpected was that Pam finally came around to accept her boss dating her mom.

Not so unexpected was that Michael still found a way to screw up the relationship, get slapped by Pam and end up with Dwight’s dinner on his cheek.

“Double Date” opens with Dwight bringing New York bagels for Dunder Mifflin staff. A seemingly generous gesture, which, of course, isn’t because Dwight doesn’t do generous.

His master plan to curry favor with coworkers in hopes of getting Jim fired backfires when an impressed Andy throws down the gauntlet and a politeness war is waged.

Like all wars, it’s ugly, what with briefcase polishing and clenched-butt walking.

Helene arrives at the office and shows off the necklace Michael put around her neck while she was sleeping. With any more discussion about their morning censored for its “inappropriosity,” the new couple joins Jim and Pam at Paparazzo’s for a birthday celebration.

Pam asks her mom which birthday they are celebrating and she says 49 and Pam helpfully points out this is the ninth-annual 49th birthday celebration.

Michael furiously does the math and is stunned to learn that his girlfriend is (gulp) 54!

Helene corrects him, saying she actually is 58, which, of course, to Michael is even worse as he realizes his cougar is a little bit more, um, mature than he thought and that he isn’t robbing the cradle but is “robbing the grave.”

Michael halfheartedly gives Helene his gift, a thoughtful, romantic scrapbook that finally wins Pam over.

Michael, being Michael, decides that on his girlfriend’s birthday, in the middle of a crowded restaurant and in front of his coworkers that now is the best time to tell Helene that she is much too old for him. Well, actually, he isn’t quite that blunt. He just expresses a desire to see other women by the names of Italy, Snowboarding and Bungee Jumping.

And, because he’s on a roll, he touches on the fact that he wants kids and he can’t have that with Helene, placing the blame on Mother Nature and her strict rules about “fer……………..tility.”

Later at the office, Michael feels bad and tries to bribe Pam with a raise. She opts for a more simple reward – the opportunity to punch Michael smack dab in the face.

Buoyed by her “crazy pregnancy strength” and thorough punching instructions from Toby, Pam is ready to do this thing and Michael goes along, but then can’t muster up the courage to be bopped in the face by a girl. Frustrated, Pam turns to walk away, and Michael sees this as the perfect time to announce that her mom came on to him. Pam wheels and lands a roundhouse slap that would make Joan Collins proud.

A somewhat predictible episode with a few chuckles. For more laughs, check out “Subtle Sexuality,” the Webisodes on NBC.com featuring Kelly, Erin, Ryan and Andy.

Kelly and Erin – AKA Subtle Sexuality – film a video for “Male Prima Dona,” Kelly’s tribute to Ryan. The breakout performer in the video is sweet, innocent Erin, who does her thing while dressed as a priest and singing Dylanesque lyrics like, “You’re a male prima dona, but I can’t help but want ya.”

The duo get help from Andy – AKA “Nard-dog” – and Ryan, whose rapping and eyeliner gives him a creepy Eminem and “Clockwork Orange” vibe.

If you can stand having the “Male Prima Dona” earworm stuck in your head for a few days – and, believe me, it will be stuck in there – the Webisodes are well worth checking out.